After I read The Hot Zone, I shared my newfound Ebola knowledge with Kiefer, also known as Mr. I-Go-To-Africa-All-The-Flippin’-Time.
(I’m fine, by the way. Turns out I don’t have Ebola. Phew. Thanks for asking.)
I spared him the Ebola symptoms and just said, “It’s bad, dude. Real bad.” And then I gave him specific locations in Africa to avoid.
- Kitum Cave (contains Ebola and Marburg viruses)
- Ebola River (It’s called “Ebola River” for a reason.)
- AIDS Highway (Again, self explanatory.)
You know where in Africa Kiefer is going?
Right there. See where it says AIDS Highway, Ebola River, and Kitum Cave? (I circled them for you.) He’ll be in that area.
Fan-tastic.
The WTF and arrow is pointing to Isle of Plagues. He might as well go there, too. Or maybe it says Isle of Plaques. Either way it doesn’t sound good.
Nobody ever listens to anything I have to say. It’s like I’m talking to myself. Hello? Hello?
January 20th, 2011 at 8:11 am
AIDS Highway and Island of Plagues??! Well, I can officially cross Africa off of my list of places I’d like to visit!
January 21st, 2011 at 7:23 am
Especially those parts! Africa does some cool penguins though.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:07 am
I thought that said, “Isle of PLEASURE,” which would explain AIDS Highway, adjacent left.
January 21st, 2011 at 7:23 am
Maybe they should rename it.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:18 am
You see the Ebola River, the AIDS Highway and the Island of Plagues. I see a terrific opportunity for an bright young travel marketer with great ideas about how to jump-start a region’s anemic tourism sector. I guess I’m just a glass-half-full kind of guy.
January 21st, 2011 at 7:23 am
I’m just a scaredy cat.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:27 am
I am assuming he goes to Africa for work..So if that is the case and my boss told me I had to visit Ebola River, AIDS Highway or the Isle of Plagues I would nicely tell them to shove the job where the sun don’t shine and wish them a good day. Just say’n.
January 21st, 2011 at 7:24 am
Yep, it’s for work.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:44 am
Not very welcoming names, are they?
January 20th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
I think that’s a way to contract AIDS, actually. Maybe don’t take that advice.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:58 am
Woah, I am ne-ver going to africa those are just a few places they keep off the adverts in the travelagency
January 21st, 2011 at 7:25 am
I think the names are like warnings.
January 20th, 2011 at 10:48 am
I hear you! I am not going to Africa!
Well. I will go to Africa. One day. But I’ll listen to your tips – promise!
January 21st, 2011 at 7:25 am
Just try to avoid that general area. Go see the penguins instead.
January 20th, 2011 at 11:49 am
Wow, those names really make a person want to visit…
January 20th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Just think, though — if a little bit of exposure creates immunity, Kiefer’s in good shape and a great disaster partner. Not so sure I can help with his proximity to a little place called Rwanda, though.
Maybe it’s raining frogs in the Island of Plagues. That would be something!
January 21st, 2011 at 7:25 am
Ewww…frogs….
January 20th, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Island of Plagues/Plaques…lmao…
January 20th, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Isle of Plagues…aren;t you glad you aren’t with him?!
January 20th, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I’m not allowed to read this. I might decide I have Ebola.
At least he’s not swimming with Ebola-infested sharks? He’s not, is he?
January 21st, 2011 at 7:26 am
No sharks this time. There may be a gorilla encounter though. At least I think he met gorilla and not guerilla.
January 20th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Really? He’s really going there? Are you sure he is going voluntarily because I just don’t see how that’s possible. Are there other people there too? Or is he going to visit with the wildlife?
Did you check for that band aid? (crossing fingers)
January 21st, 2011 at 7:26 am
It’s for work. Nobody goes to Africa as much as he does for fun.
January 20th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Isle of Plagues? There’s no way that’s real…
January 21st, 2011 at 7:28 am
I usually go by the rule that if it’s in a book, then it’s real. But maybe the author used his own nicknames.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:17 pm
I’m guessing you won’t be going to Africa for your honeymoon?
January 21st, 2011 at 7:28 am
Oh no. No, no, no.
January 20th, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Great book! I read that years ago and could not put it down! Now…anytime anyone in the family gets a nosebleed…I think EBOLA!!
January 20th, 2011 at 11:06 pm
AIDS Highway. Seriously? Africa needs to work on its naming conventions.
January 21st, 2011 at 7:28 am
At least they’re consistent with nonflattering names.
January 21st, 2011 at 2:51 am
Congratulations on not having ebola. I’m glad we don’t have to put you in a germ-proof bubble to live out the remainder of your short zombie life.
(Unclean! Unclean! – I still can’t get that out of my head…. It’s the funniest thing since cheeze doodles)
January 21st, 2011 at 7:30 am
You should read Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus’s Childhood Pal…it was hilarious, and I think that’s where I first heard the unclean thing.
January 21st, 2011 at 7:50 am
Isle of Plaques might be okay, if they’re the little cheesy award ones like you get at the dollar store that say “World’s Best Grampa.” Those have to come from somewhere!
January 21st, 2011 at 11:44 am
As long as he doesn’t roast a dead monkey that he stumbled upon, he should be just fine for the ebola.
How can you not like coffee?
I don’t think I could share my dessert unless you gave me a bigger bite of yours. Sorry.
January 23rd, 2011 at 10:19 am
Will he be staying in The Black Plague Hotel? Taking the Scarlet Fever Car Service? Eating at the Pox Restaurant?
Seriously. Steal his passport, pronto.
January 24th, 2011 at 8:36 am
Unfortunately, none of these locations would surprise me.
January 24th, 2011 at 12:02 pm
I promise you, if I actually ever get to go to Africa and I send you my travel details and you send me back a map with circled areas to avoid due to high risk of infectious disease, I will listen. Just a little soul comfort, there, my friend. I would listen and be grateful. Very, very grateful. Is Kiefer not grateful?