I hate aliens. Hate ‘em.
In an effort to win me over, someone (probably an alien…aka pod person Irene) suggested I watch Paul. Here’s what I learned:
- Aliens probe you because they’re harvesting farts.
- You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream.
- To a sci-fi nerd, 3 boobs on a woman is hot, but 4 is just plain sick.
- Aliens eat birds raw…super raw…as in alive.
- Getting high feels like wasps in your brain.
- You don’t need toothbrushes in space.
An alien doing an impression of an alien.
And in case you’re one of those people who don’t believe in aliens, here’s the most important lesson of them all: An alien came up with the characters Agent Mulder and ET.
That means Chris Carter and Steven Spielberg are in cahoots with aliens. That’s why they’re so famous. I knew it….
July 31st, 2012 at 7:41 am
This is a movie I had totally forgotten about that I really did want to see! Thank you for reminding me! Sounds really interesting and funny!
August 1st, 2012 at 5:47 am
It did give me a good laugh!
July 31st, 2012 at 7:42 am
Maybe they aren’t “in cahoots.” Maybe they ARE aliens. Ever think about that? Maybe they are all around us!! Spooky.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:47 am
Whoa. That almost makes more sense. You’re not an alien, are you? You would tell me, right?
August 2nd, 2012 at 10:23 am
Misty’s an alien! She’s doing fashion disaster research for her home planet!
July 31st, 2012 at 8:08 am
I didn’t think I was that influential!
We all know what kind of stuff Spielberg’s been smoking. He had more than wasps in HIS brain!
How can you hate aliens! Paul is a riot!
August 1st, 2012 at 5:48 am
Influential? I’ll do pretty much whatever you say.
Paul seemed ok. It’s the other aliens that freak me out. Like the ones in Aliens.
July 31st, 2012 at 8:13 am
Haha! I haven’t see this, but it looks funny. I love alien shows – much better than zombie ones. I’ve been watching Fallen Skies written by Spielberg. The aliens look like spiders and climb walls. Omg! I agree with Misty. Spielberg and those guys ARE aliens. Craziness!
August 1st, 2012 at 5:48 am
Better than zombies?!
July 31st, 2012 at 9:29 am
Wait, you hate aliens? Like, all of them?
What did they ever do to you?
August 1st, 2012 at 5:49 am
Nothing…yet. I have a serious phobia of the alien anal probe.
July 31st, 2012 at 9:36 am
Don’t hate me, but Paul was one of my favourite films last year! Might be the brilliant comedy of those great actors (Simon Peggy, Nick Frost and the uber cool chick from Bridesmaids) but I’m the sort of person who ha ha’d my way through the film
Mightn’t handle it do well if zombies tried to take over, but aliens like funny dude ‘Paul’ I just might survive…
August 1st, 2012 at 5:50 am
No hate here. I did enjoy the movie!
July 31st, 2012 at 9:45 am
4 boobs on a woman = Siamese Twins. And it’s sad, because you can only occupy up to 3 at a time, so there’s always one left out.
@Angelia,
Love Falling Skies! But I still can’t see Noah Wyle as anyone but Dr. John Carter. Maybe that’s why he’s making out with the hot doctor…
August 1st, 2012 at 5:50 am
I guess I need to check out Falling Skies.
July 31st, 2012 at 10:22 am
I didn’t think “Paul” was as good as “Shawn of the Dead” or “Hot Fuzz,” but it was pretty good, as I recall. I was distracted, though, by Jason Bateman. Whenever he’d pop up, I’d think, “Why isn’t he shooting Season 4 of ‘Arrested Development’ already?” (P.S. If you like Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, stream “Spaced” on Netflix.)
August 1st, 2012 at 5:51 am
It’s been so long since I’ve seen Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, I don’t think I can make a fair comparison.
You like Arrested Development? Of course you do. You and Kiefer will have a lot to talk about.
July 31st, 2012 at 10:44 am
hahaha – he DOES look like ET!!
July 31st, 2012 at 12:17 pm
You forgot the other thing:
Aliens can turn invisible. But they have to hold their breath while doing so, so all you have to do is try to startle empty rooms or make them laugh in order to catch the aliens.
Well, that’s what I got out of it, anyway.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:52 am
You’re right. That may be the most important thing. And that they’re naked while doing it…by “it” I mean turning invisble. Not the other “it.”
July 31st, 2012 at 12:52 pm
“What, I’m not going to eat a dead bird, am I?”
Hilarious.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:52 am
=)
July 31st, 2012 at 1:08 pm
I used to be deathly afraid of aliens… like eyes-wide-open, staring at the ceiling and why are those damned shadows moving afraid. Luckily, now I’m married and any aliens are going to have to get past my husband to get to me!!!! Oh… crap. It’s gonna be another sleepless night…
August 1st, 2012 at 5:53 am
I take some comfort in the fact that I’m less likely to be abducted now that Kiefer and I sleep in the same bed every night. Except that sometimes he’s a really heavy sleeper.
July 31st, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Oh, gosh, I hate to admit this but I have never seen ET, so,I am totally lost about this entire Paul thingy?
August 1st, 2012 at 5:54 am
Never…seen…ET? Your summer homework assignment is to watch both movies and then do a Venn Diagram to compare and contrast.
July 31st, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I know there is a lot of prejudice over aliens, but like everything else, this is just because of misunderstanding. Aliens can be good or bad, much like humans. Some are smart and some are stupid. Some are very sexy actually. (I should know.)
August 1st, 2012 at 5:54 am
Please show me a sexy alien. I need proof.
July 31st, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I couldn’t get through this one, but looking at that picture makes me feel like I should try again.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:55 am
The beginning did seem a bit slow.
July 31st, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Haha give me Paul over ET any day, he had some spunk
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
August 1st, 2012 at 5:55 am
That he did!
July 31st, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I bring a blueberry Pop-Tart and some Shuttle-shaped Gummy Bears, but no joints, as in what Paul smoked the whole movie, giggle. I LOVED that movie!!! I am just giggling over it right now . . . gotta go watch it again!!
August 1st, 2012 at 5:59 am
Mmmmm…blueberry Pop-Tarts.
July 31st, 2012 at 5:08 pm
I’ve heard that about Spielberg before.
August 1st, 2012 at 5:59 am
Apparently, I’m the only one out of the loop.
August 1st, 2012 at 12:06 am
I’d never heard of this one, but now I think I need to see it.
August 1st, 2012 at 6:00 am
The movie gave me a good chuckle.
August 1st, 2012 at 10:30 am
Paul? Never heard of him. While I have enjoyed most of your previous film recommendations, I don’t think I can do this one.