I’ve never really watched the Summer Olympics before, but this week I watched it while I was at the gym.
It’s a motivator really. One day they’ll add ellipticalling (one L or two?) to the Olympics, and I’ll bring home the gold for U.S.A. It’s really just a matter of time.
While I’m at the gym, usually water polo is on TV.
At first, I didn’t even realize what it was. From a distance, it looked like synchronized swimming, and I thought, “Wow. The U.S.A. is definitely not placing in this event.”
But after watching two games (one women’s and one men’s), I now consider myself an expert in water polo.
You can be an expert, too. Here’s what you need to know:
- Water polo is like hockey. Minus the puck, sticks, ice, and padding. Soooo…by “like,” I mean the only similarity is that it’s bloody.
- Water polo is dangerous. You could drown.
- In fact, it only appears that the object of the game is to put the ball in the net. The goal is actually to drown as many opposing team members as possible.
- Drown the opposing team by grabbing their swimsuits. If they don’t drown, you’ll at least gain some time while they readjust the swimsuit to cover their privates.
- Men wear Speedos
to show off their abs and pecsbecause there’s less swimsuit for the opposing team to grab.
Don’t be surprised if you see me announce during the next water polo game….
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “That is the cutest form of Robert Pattinson I’ve seen to date.”—Nikki B
August 3rd, 2012 at 7:42 am
That guy looks like “Antonio”. Now if only I can find a way to sneak one of those things on his head and snap a picture . . . hmmmm….
August 3rd, 2012 at 7:52 am
I like the basketball (which I don’t think NBC has deigned to show in prime time), but, by and large, I think the summer games are pretty weak. Water polo? Cycling? Badminton? Those aren’t sports. Those are things you do at a cookout! Now, you kids get off my lawn!
August 3rd, 2012 at 8:22 am
Yeah–definitely you gotta announce!! LOL!! I was watching it the other day and was amused by their “penalty pen,” as I nicknamed it–so hey, do I get to be the color guy while you do play-by-play? Giggle.
I noticed the women wore MASSIVE suits–like ol’ lady massive–iron-clad protection against exposure.
So that guy above? Lost Speedos. For sure.
August 3rd, 2012 at 9:31 am
You have to like those hats though. I ordered one just to wear around, like when I go to the store.
August 3rd, 2012 at 10:08 am
It sounds just like water volleyball, or wait, maybe I was watching polo and thought it was water volleyball? Now, I am confused, totally confused?
August 3rd, 2012 at 10:10 am
It looks like such a miserable experience. Everyone should be ecstatic at the end of the game, regardless of winner, because they didn’t drown.
August 3rd, 2012 at 11:14 am
I’m pretty sure that guy is either causing the warm spot, or causing a brown spot. I panic too when it’s time to go number two and I am stuck in an Olympic polo game.
August 3rd, 2012 at 11:56 am
You’d think water polo would involve horses somehow.
August 3rd, 2012 at 12:10 pm
I’ve NEVER heard a more logical explanation of Speedos than the one you just provided.
August 3rd, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I don’t think it’s possible to put into words how much I love your Empire Records banner. Oh, Rexy, you’re so sexy! Also, that guy’s definitely trying his junk up there.
August 3rd, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Ugh, trying to cover his junk. Words are hard.
August 3rd, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Ha ha, I thought it was synchronized swimming at first too!
Elliptical is my main sport also.
August 3rd, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I think they forgot to mention the shark in the pool to add interest to the water events this year
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
August 3rd, 2012 at 3:52 pm
You watched that polo shit too!! What a joke! It’s a game of keep away!! And it’s SO boring! Though the water did look nice! Probably around 75-80 degrees!
August 3rd, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Looks like something’s going on in that pool at least, (secret) I’m not into the Olympics but I’d be thoroughly entertained if they feaured more shots like this!
August 3rd, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Great now when the winter games come I’ll need you to explain curling to me.
August 3rd, 2012 at 10:59 pm
Anything that can make me laugh out loud at 5 in the morning is great . I’m a fan !!!
August 4th, 2012 at 12:54 am
Water polo does have ice. It’s just melted.
August 5th, 2012 at 8:01 am
I think the little hats are cute. My favorite part of the last water polo game I saw was when the camera caught a guy cheering and then realizing he needed to fix his suit!
My kids tried to copy water polo at the y pool – they got in trouble for trying to drown each other. I had to explain the goal was the ball in the net……aauuggghhhhh
August 5th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
I watched my first water polo this week too. It looks like a bitch! Much speedo-grabbing and attempted drownings.
August 5th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
I vote for an option #5…….it is Russell Brand being attacked by syphilis seeking genetalia chomping piranha. I really like that option best!!
August 6th, 2012 at 7:47 am
hahaha, it’s a sport I definitely got some enjoyment out of watching this weekend.
August 6th, 2012 at 7:49 am
Sooo… water polo is more like water pantsing?
PS You liked my last comment!
August 6th, 2012 at 8:30 am
The guys wear Speedos for the “rudder” action they get when swimming.
August 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm
One weekend, I was stuck in Montreal during a blizzard . . . I went from bar to bar, during the Curling world championships, and that’s all that was on. And so I now consider myself an expert on throwing a rock down an ice lane.
This is the first year that I’ve spent any time watching water polo, and I get sucked into every match. But, well, part of me might just be hoping for something naughty to get flashed or pulled on
August 6th, 2012 at 4:21 pm
This is just about the only acceptable place for a man to still wear a Speedo. And just about the only acceptable men to wear them.
August 7th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I wonder if it would be a scandal if a shark from Jaws would appear in that pool
August 7th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
There are other acceptable reasons for men to wear a Speedo.