When I first moved in with Kiefer, Boo, and Radley, I was scared.
That’s a lot of boys.
Sure Esme the cat is a girl, but she’s a whore. She’s only on my side when it’s convenient for her. Like when I’m holding a can of food.
To try to understand boy behavior, I watched The Little Rascals. Here’s what I learned:
- Little boys don’t know that the number for 911 is 9-1-1.
- Boys roast marshmallows while their clubhouse burns to the ground. Priorities, you know.
- Boys will get back a girl by whipping out his lizard…literally a lizard. As in the reptile.
- Boys like to chase ducks with a string and a dollar tied to their feet.
- Booby trap your most prized possessions with pickles.
Follow all of those steps and you’ll fit right in.
Most importantly, I learned that if a boy ever makes you a sandwich and it’s crunchy, don’t eat it. Those aren’t potato chips giving it that crunch.
What? Us? We didn’t do anything. I can’t believe you would accuse us of that.
Crunchy sandwiches mean the cat has joined forces and allowed them to use some litter as a condiment.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “You have to like those hats though. I ordered one just to wear around, like when I go to the store.”—Omawarisan
August 7th, 2012 at 7:48 am
Yeah, but you wouldn’t discover it’s crunchy nature until you already took a bite, so methinks it’s best to have a blanket “don’t accept food from boys” policy to avoid kitty litter crunching. Problem solved!
August 8th, 2012 at 8:45 am
What about prepackaged food?
August 7th, 2012 at 7:53 am
OH, god. We have that movie on VHS. My son watched it close to a billion times when he was younger. Thank god we no longer have a working VCR.
August 8th, 2012 at 8:47 am
The VCR comment cracked me up! I’m sure my parents felt that way about a few things.
August 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am
So if I go into a vodka-induced coma, I’m going to have to hope I have more than little boys around.
Wow. That MIGHT be the creepiest-sounding thing I’ve ever said.
August 8th, 2012 at 8:49 am
It is pretty creepy, but it got you Favorite Comment. =)
August 8th, 2012 at 8:51 am
LOL Awesome. I was JUST typing your blog name into my URL, too (man, who knew vacation time would turn me into a night owl? I slept in; this is so late for me to START reading blogs)!
August 7th, 2012 at 9:59 am
I bet roasted marshmallows by a structure fire taste extra sweet.
August 7th, 2012 at 11:41 am
“The Little Rascals” have to the be the best ever kid’s show. Little boys have nothing on little girls when it comes to gourmet touches.
August 7th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
I love the Little Rascals and currently have a number of Little Rascal gifs. I’m not ashamed.
Countdown to Florida! WOOHOO.
August 8th, 2012 at 8:50 am
I know! I can’t wait to meet you!
August 7th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
I still often sing, “I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar, hey-hey-hey-HEY!”
August 8th, 2012 at 8:51 am
Me, too! I thought I was hte only one!
I also break out into “I have two pickles…” sometimes.
August 7th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
This is embarrassing but as a child I watched the Black and White 1930′s and 1940′s Little Rascals on Saturday Mornings. Oh, wait, not in the 30′s and 40′s, geez, Now, I was referring to the 70′s, they were morning cartoon skits in the seventies, Oh forget it, It was a long, long time ago!! Anyway, I loved Alfalfa, and Darla, she was a character with her scrunchy little smile
August 8th, 2012 at 8:51 am
Darla is a cutie!
August 7th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
I’m not going to guess what the crunch comes from – textured love perhaps?
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
August 8th, 2012 at 8:52 am
Kitty litter. Hopefully fresh kitty litter.
August 7th, 2012 at 4:28 pm
I loved those old black and white Little Rascal shows. The kids were adorable. And now they’re probably 80.
Weird.
August 7th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Re: 911
There are two boys that live in the apartment across from me. Last year my husband’s car was broken into in our carport, so I told their grandma to be careful because she parks next to him. About five minutes later, I hear people stomping up the stairs, and then banging on the front door, all the while yelling ‘Police!’
It turns out her grandsons heard the conversation and decided to call 911. Lord only knows what they told the operator, but they sent four officers asap.
August 8th, 2012 at 8:53 am
Only you….
August 7th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
I feel your pain. I grew up with brothers. One used to throw frogs in the air to make them go splat. Gross! Little Rascals rocks. Watch out for mushy sandwiches too.
August 7th, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen that movie in forever! They used to play it every year around christmas, along with the Goonies, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and the old Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
August 7th, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Crunchy? O-My-Goodness.
Better crunchy than Poopy Smooth & Mushy! <3
August 8th, 2012 at 7:19 am
My favorite Little Rascal was Alfafa. He was so darn cute!
August 8th, 2012 at 7:59 am
You know what is the best on s’mores? Reese’s peanut butter cups instead of chocolate. I would like one now, actually. What? It’s not even 9am yet? Well… priorities.
I’m sorry. What were you saying? I heard “roasting marshmallows.”
August 8th, 2012 at 8:54 am
You heard the most important words. I can always count on you to focus on the message, Buttery Pop-Tart Lover.
August 8th, 2012 at 9:18 am
Watch all the movies you want, but as a girl that lives with two little boys and one grown up boy I’m just gonna go ahead and say that we will never understand. EVER.
August 14th, 2012 at 7:11 am
I wish I could say that my sister and I didn’t quote this movie often. But that would be lies.
-”My father owns the oil refinery.”
-”That explains why you’re so refined”
-”And so oily!”