Think about when you first moved in with your significant other. Or think about your boyfriend or girlfriend’s place.
There’s probably one decoration or piece of furniture you dislike despise. For me, that piece of furniture is this coffee table:
I hate this table.
I don’t know why. Maybe because it looks like a slice of wood. A tree died for that table, dang it! In a log cabin, this coffee table would be great. But not in suburbia my living room anywhere else.
Every time Ozzy puppy starts to chew on it, I only half-heartedly say, “Nu-uh, Ozzy, no bite.” It kills me to say that when all I really want to do is cheer Ozzy on: “GET IT, OZZY! CHEW THE CRAP OUT OF IT!”
I can’t wait till we move. Then I can shove it in the man cave. Or “lose it” in the move.
What do you think of Kiefer’s coffee table? Does someone you know have a piece of furniture you can’t stand?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I feel like mailing Pop Tarts would cause them to shatter into 498748293875320.5 pieces upon arrival. They’re very crumbly.”—A White Unicorn
September 17th, 2012 at 7:49 am
My eyes! MY EYES!! What on earth is that abomination and why ever would you scare me with a picture of it?? No. Just . . . no. Unless you are marrying Grizzly Adams, there is no place in civilized society for that thing. Sorry, Keifer.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:06 am
Thoughtsy, 1. Kiefer, 0.
September 17th, 2012 at 7:54 am
This table actually upsets me. Why would anyone think this is a good idea? Is Kiefer a lumberjack? That is the only acceptable explanation.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:07 am
Bwahahaha! I think we just figured out Kiefer’s Halloween costume.
September 17th, 2012 at 7:55 am
I think it is beautiful but I am the type that thinks legs of Florida driftwood and glass top or wagon wheel with glass top is also wonderful. I think most nature lovers would like it , even tree huggers, because it is a celebration and enthronement of the tree. It brings some outside into one’s inside the house. And tree spirits make for charming guests.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:07 am
Thoughtsy, 2. Kiefer, 1.
September 17th, 2012 at 7:57 am
Oh great googly moogly, that is awful. But handy if you run low on firewood in the winter.
Jason had some hideous brass lamps. They got evicted to make room for my cooler wrought iron lamps.
Whatever happens….just remember, you are doing him a favor.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:08 am
I really hope our new place has a fireplace.
September 17th, 2012 at 8:08 am
Ohhhh, I hate to say it but I love it!!! I’m a cabin-in-the-woods kind of gal. And that coffee table is SO me! I’m with Carl on this one! Maybe not the tree spirits, but it does lend warmth to a living space.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:08 am
If we lived in a cabin, I think this table would totally work. But in our current house, not so much.
September 17th, 2012 at 8:50 am
This is just like that argument about the wagon wheel coffee table in When Harry Met Sally! “Everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but everyone can’t possibly have good taste AND a sense of humor.”
September 17th, 2012 at 8:52 am
Ooo, you’re a good woman. The problem with loving someone is you can’t screen them beforehand on their taste! I agree, that table is somewhat large & cumbersome. As for furniture, my guy has a coffee table in the shape of a dragon, on which glass balances on top of its head with a bow and arrow. Not…quite…my…style….
September 18th, 2012 at 7:09 am
A dragon, huh? Post a pic. We need to compare notes on which table is worse.
September 17th, 2012 at 9:04 am
Just my opinion, but that looks like the kind of coffee table you’d get in college, either at Goodwill or by the curb, where someone had put it out as trash. It doesn’t look like the kind of coffee table you’d have as an adult. It just doesn’t.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:19 am
I can’t wait to show Kiefer this comment. Maybe I can convince him to do a guest post about the table.
September 17th, 2012 at 9:33 am
Sorry, I like it. Must be a “guy” thing.
But you can’t really go by me… I still have a 6′ Batman standee in my living room.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:20 am
Just like Barney from HIMYM has a Storm Trooper.
September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am
Yuck! I have never seen anything like it. I say stage a robbery, but you’re gonna have to sacrifice something else, because if the table is the only thing “stolen” he’ll be suspicious.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:21 am
I’ll “steal” Pop-Tarts, too, so we each lose something valuable.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:21 am
Did I just say “valuable?” I meant something important to each of us.
September 17th, 2012 at 9:59 am
Um, too bad your kids don’t break furniture or paint all over it . . . if it were mine, I’d leave some paints out near the log, knowing full well the boys would be unable to resist a creative moment. LOL.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:22 am
Maybe I can borrow some younger kids who don’t know any better.
September 17th, 2012 at 10:38 am
I do not despise the table. It’s just not my style. But why would you despise it and state that a tree died for it when how many trees died to build the house you live in? The grain and knots in a piece of wood made by a supreme being or by random chance can be appreciated as much as a finely carved piece of furniture “made” by man!
September 18th, 2012 at 7:23 am
I think the difference is…the trees that died for the house didn’t create something icky. The same can’t be said for the tree that died for the table.
September 18th, 2012 at 10:06 am
Icky is in the eye of the beholder!
September 17th, 2012 at 10:45 am
What that table lacks in aesthetic value it more than makes up with in sheer lacquer. That sucker looks highly-flammable.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:24 am
Highly flammable you say? Is that a hint? Don’t worry. I got it.
September 17th, 2012 at 10:52 am
Manfriend just found a stump. It was on the side of the road. I think someone had a tree removed from their yard and this was one of the pieces waiting to be hauled away. He is going to wittle it into a chair and pour some sort of gloss onto it. I feel your pain.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:24 am
I think we should introduce Manfriend and Kiefer. They would be great friends. I can tell.
September 17th, 2012 at 10:54 am
I think it is beautiful. But, it belongs in the right space, log cabin, man cave. Not suburban furniture.
September 17th, 2012 at 11:10 am
“I want you to know…that I will *never* want that wagon wheel coffee table.”
September 17th, 2012 at 11:22 am
I was thinking the same thing as Rachel–when Harry Met Sally!
September 17th, 2012 at 11:28 am
I’m from Wyoming, so everyone has one of those somewhere in their house. Usually the man cave or under the fish tank, because they were made in the 70′s and have invincible lacquer on them. Could you personalize it? Maybe paint the edge some bright color to modernize it?
September 18th, 2012 at 7:26 am
I’d like to cremate it and then put it on a vase on a new coffee table. I’ll agree to that.
September 17th, 2012 at 11:46 am
Um, yeah, this belongs in a verrrrry rustic cabin. On a lake in Minnesota or Michigan. Yes, the wagon-wheel table in When Harry Met Sally!
You’re moving? Yay! One bathroom for four people is not fun.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:29 am
We’re still looking. I hope we find a place really soon. Kiefer is thinking of building a house since we can’t find one we like.
September 17th, 2012 at 11:47 am
All I can think about is the wagon wheel table from When Harry Met Sally. That table is pretty dang bad, haha! Maybe it’d be better in the right setting–like a cabin in the mountains or something…
September 17th, 2012 at 11:49 am
That coffee table goes well with the plaid couch though, don’t you think?
September 18th, 2012 at 7:32 am
That’s actually Ozzy’s bed. But they do kinda match.
September 17th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
That table looks like someone cut it off a tree and then forgot. Oops!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
September 17th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
I love this table! The color is a little odd, maybe if you gave it a new coat of stain or something it would like artsy and funky.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:33 am
NOOOOOOO!
September 17th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
man cave. definitely.
September 17th, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Even though you have heard me say several times that I liked it, Keifer has always been in the room, but yeah, I’ll let you know when my friend has his yearly Bon fire!
September 18th, 2012 at 7:33 am
Thank you! I think I’ll make you another key lime pie.
September 17th, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I moved into a place FULL of John Wayne pictures and Reno flea market paintings of Labrador Retrievers. While I kept the dude around, none of the ‘art’ currently adorns the walls of our home. And I don’t feel even a tiny bit bad about it (probably because he has all that crap hanging in our barn). Whatever. Table be gone!
September 18th, 2012 at 7:34 am
I need to get a barn ASAP.
September 17th, 2012 at 6:34 pm
It looks like a giant version of one of those things my grandmother used to crack walnuts on! Perhaps, it’s really a gathering place for squirrels and somehow it found its way into Kiefer’s place…
September 18th, 2012 at 7:35 am
Maybe if I move it outside and the squirrels like it, Kiefer won’t want to take it away from them.
September 17th, 2012 at 6:40 pm
That’s pretty awful, but you’ve counted the rings haven’t you?
September 18th, 2012 at 7:35 am
I can’t even see the rings it’s so shiny.
September 17th, 2012 at 6:44 pm
What if you managed to walk through the living room with a big chain saw turned on and you “accidentally” tripped over something you strategically placed just moments before, causing you to “accidentally” cut the whole thing in half just like that? Oops.
September 18th, 2012 at 7:36 am
Genius!
September 17th, 2012 at 7:23 pm
hideous
September 17th, 2012 at 7:42 pm
My husband had the most beautiful collection of vases,well, I thought they were vases,until another family member informed me that they were not vases, NOPE, they were Water Bongs, the collection disappeared, or I think I dropped that box in a move?? Yeah, that was it, I dropped the box, imagine that accident happening?
September 17th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Thought,
It’s a great piece… for an eye-sore. When my wife and I moved in together, there were some negotiations on both side as to what we were going to keep, and what was going to take the highway. I fought hard for my Star Wars memorabilia.
Le Clown
September 17th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
It looks like a skateboard. Which should never be mistaken for a coffee table.
September 18th, 2012 at 1:13 am
Hahaha!
September 18th, 2012 at 12:27 am
Thoughtsy, I’ve seen worse, but might as well decorate with Lincoln Logs, if you’re going to go with this style. It’s not the best, not what I would go with for sure. But it’s not the worst. Throw a tablecloth over it and call it a day.
September 18th, 2012 at 12:39 am
Ugly.
September 18th, 2012 at 1:10 am
Did Kiefer make it? Brad has a coffee table that I dislike because it’s … well … not very well made. But he made it himself at school and he’s proud of it and for that reason I must be proud of it too. And I am. I’m so proud of it that I put it in a prime position in the attic.
September 18th, 2012 at 4:05 am
Classic! I agree, the table kind of looks like it should be in a ski cabin. You should hold onto it (that’s what garages are for) in anticipation for the day you finally buy your vacation home in the mountains!
September 18th, 2012 at 4:22 am
Burn. It.
September 18th, 2012 at 5:48 am
I second the Burn.It. comment. We have a fire pit you can use.
September 18th, 2012 at 6:08 am
Oh. Wow. Thoughtsy. Babs taught me if I don’t have anything nice to say…
Hey, you’re a really great blogger, you know that?
September 18th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
I can’t lie…I sort of dig that table. I like that it’s a piece of a tree..but the coloration is odd.
October 10th, 2012 at 8:08 am
[...] Kiefer: Why, yes, thank you. I love what you’ve done with the place. (::looking around at puppy toys all over the floor and his hideous coffee table::) [...]