When Kiefer suggested we (him and me—not you) start trying to have a baby, a lot of thoughts ran through my head after that conversation. A lot. For example…
- Is this just an excuse for more sex?
- Is he “being the girl” and trying to trap me in a relationship?
- Will he start calling me his “baby mama?”
- Will he feel like we don’t need to get married if we already have a
childdaughter together?
Obviously he must be a pod person because the real Kiefer is a commitment-phobe. Except…
Isn’t having a baby together a commitment?
So I started to think about the worst possible scenario: Kiefer and I have a baby, but things don’t work out between Kiefer and I.
The baby still has a good father. And at age 32, I was prepared to have a baby by myself via the turkey baster turbo-slut route, so I’m in the same situation I was expecting to be in anyways. Win-win for me.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What if you managed to walk through the living room with a big chain saw turned on and you “accidentally” tripped over something you strategically placed just moments before, causing you to “accidentally” cut the whole thing in half just like that? Oops.”—Kim Pugliano
September 18th, 2012 at 8:06 am
Something’s in the air. I JUST walked past a guy in the hall of the courthouse, talking on his phone, saying, “what, you broke up with me, what do you want me to do . . . cry? That’s just baby mama drama right there.”
September 18th, 2012 at 8:34 am
Oh, and I’m happy you got to go the turbo slut route rather than turkey baster. Much more fun.
September 18th, 2012 at 8:27 am
If I were to think like a guy…….which hurts my brain…..I’d definitely say it is a good excuse for sex. But really, I think being a baby Daddy is a HUGE commitment, more so than being married.
Thoughtsy for the win.
September 18th, 2012 at 8:56 am
It’s all about the *trying* anyway. It can make you quite acrobatic if you want to do it juuuuuust right. All I’m saying is that I’ve heard that standing on your head afterwards increases your chances…of…strengthening muscles in your arms by like 100% when compared to those who don’t stand on their head at all after trying to conceive.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:49 am
I don’t think I’m coordinated enough to stand on my head.
September 18th, 2012 at 8:59 am
Well, he already has children, right? So that means he knows what he’s getting himself into. He wants a little Thoughtsy – I’d say that’s a mighty big commitment and a testament to how he feels about you!!
September 18th, 2012 at 9:00 am
Soooo… I have the two boys, right? And with them I did everything I was supposed to… got married (even though I was young), tried like hell to make all the pieces work, and it just DIDN’T. They don’t see their dad. He isn’t interested in their lives. But their lives are GOOD. And there are lots of people that love them in it. We want a baby that’s ours (my boyfriend doesn’t have any children of his own) and we’re not married, and what I learned from the first go-round is that even if you do everything in the right order, you don’t always get the desired results. Kids ARE the biggest commitment you could ever make, and what’s most important is the person that enters into that commitment with you. And how Kiefer is with the kids he already has is a pretty good indication of how he’ll be. So yeah for you! Totally win-win.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:49 am
Your comment makes me happy. =)
September 18th, 2012 at 11:55 am
It’s definitely a huge commitment! I mean, you could get married, divorced and easily never have anything to do with one another ever again. But with a baby, you are connected forever–even if one parent isn’t involved, half of them went into that child. I think maybe he’s a little more ready to commit to you than he thinks
September 18th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
If he is willing to commit to being a baby daddy, I wonder what the hang up is over being a baby mama’s husband. Apparently, he takes good care of his boys, so I doubt he has trouble committing to kids, just to women. Weird.
September 18th, 2012 at 2:34 pm
I can only guess how big of a commitment it will be but if Kiefer wants then he is willing to stay with you and commit to you for a long time – sweet
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
September 18th, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Win – win! Big time. Good luck. Although the turbo-slut route does in fact sound sorta fun….said the lady married for 16 years to her first and only.
September 18th, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Honestly, if “things don’t work out between Kiefer and you” is the worst scenario you can come up with, you haven’t seen enough evil-baby movies.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:51 am
There are evil babies? Like the evil, demon, possessed babies? I’ve seen The Excorist. I think I can force the evilness out,
September 20th, 2012 at 3:39 am
Rosemary’s Baby, The Bad Seed, We Need To Talk About Kevin — there are lots of evil fictional babies. To be on the safe side, you should probably try to have a nonfiction baby.
September 19th, 2012 at 12:16 am
You think he might be trying to trap you, huh? You should tell him “I WANT to be here, so in your face.” That’ll teach him.
September 19th, 2012 at 1:28 am
Keifer sounds like a keeper. Wishing you both the best!
September 19th, 2012 at 6:05 am
“Turbo-slut route”? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that term used before.
September 19th, 2012 at 11:53 am
I may have invented it.
Turbo-slut route: A fun, yet risky way to get pregnant while not knowing who the actual father is.
September 19th, 2012 at 8:18 am
The guy had you move in with him and his kids, and now he wants a baby with you? I’d say he loves him some Thoughtsy. I think you’re good to go.
September 19th, 2012 at 5:42 pm
There is nothing wrong with an excuse for more sex
September 20th, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Yep, Betty above is right–there is nothing wrong about more sex, or making excuses for more sex, or finding reasons for good sex. Um . . .
September 20th, 2012 at 6:56 pm
word