As I was crossing the parking lot back to my car, I passed 3 older women. Right after I passed them, I heard…
Old Lady: Town whore.
My thoughts: Wow, she sounds pissed off. Is there going to be an old lady smack down?
I kept walking.
Old Lady: ::even louder:: Town whore!
My thoughts: Uhhh…is she talking about me?
What I Wish I’d Said: Takes one to know one!
I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure she was talking about me. What the….
I just ignored them because there were 3 of them…and they were bigger than me and had weapons. One of them had a cane, and all I had was a cup of chicken noodle soup.
How rude. Is my sweater dress a little short? Probably. But my ass isn’t hanging out. It passed the fingertip test.
Passed the fingertip test with a couple inches to spare!
Or maybe it was the boots? Is it because they’re knee high? Because they have ties in the back? I always thought they were pirate-like.
Ties = Whore not Pirate
Maybe it was my makeup. I was only wearing mascara, but I did layer it on pretty thick. Two coats.
So there you have it: The new definition of “whore” is having sex with 1 person for the past 4.5 years.
Since when does someone’s clothing reflect their sexual actions? I suppose if I had been raped while wearing it, I would have been asking for it, too.
Grrrr…why are people so flippin’ mean? If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
What should I have said? Obviously, I need more practice with comebacks.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I’ve got a ring but is there a Give-The-Husband-The-Cold-Shoulder-Till-He-Unloads-The-Dishwasher-Day?”—Tori Nelson
December 18th, 2012 at 10:05 am
Ah, so YOU’RE the town whore!! I was wondering who go that annual Christmas distinction. Congrats!!
And don’t worry . . . they’re just jealous because they’ve passed into the too-old-to-even-be-considered-cougars age bracket and are jealous that anyone else is having sex. Carry on with your adorable dress and boots!!
December 19th, 2012 at 6:29 am
Aww!
Yeah, like mistyslaws says, they’re plain jealous. Don’t mind them!
December 18th, 2012 at 10:11 am
I agree with Misty! I wear short dresses and boots (with heels! GASP) all the time in the winter. I’ve been thinking of a comeback for that rude remark….. I don’t know of one that doesn’t involve some sailor talk. That would confuse them! Whore, Pirate, Sailor? Sometimes you just have to walk a little taller and add Bitch in there. I think you looked GREAT! Walk tall, my friend, walk tall!
December 18th, 2012 at 10:21 am
One word…jealous. Your outfit is really cute and I would wear the same thing, so I guess that makes me a town whore too, good I was looking for a new label. Haters gonna hate.
December 18th, 2012 at 10:27 am
Wow. This is almost EXACTLY like a Monty Python skit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i25gZXQF2w
December 18th, 2012 at 10:45 am
I like your dress. And it’s really not *that* short. The old ladies just wish they could still wear clothes like that and get away with it! And they need to go wash their mouths out with soap.
December 18th, 2012 at 10:55 am
You did exactly what you should have–ignored them. It isn’t worth your time to respond. They must have sad lives to act like that.
That being said, I understand why you’re annoyed. I get my feelings hurt when I get honked at while driving so this would have really upset me.
December 18th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
I second all of this. Still, I have been trying and totally failing to come up with a retort (that wouldn’t likely incite physical violence). No go.
December 18th, 2012 at 11:06 am
What a terrible story. Mean old bags. Try and forgive them, people get grumpy when they know they will be dead soon. Maybe she had Tourette’s, in which case she didn’t even mean it.
December 18th, 2012 at 11:08 am
My likely assumption: Her husband cheated on her with a beautiful, confident, well-dressed, younger woman like you. It was 20 years ago, but she remembers it like it was yesterday because she still isn’t over it. Sorry she took it out on you; you didn’t deserve it.
December 18th, 2012 at 11:09 am
I would have nicely responded, “Yeah, well at least I don’t smell like old lady vagina.” Then I would have hiked my skirt up above my boobs and walked off.
December 18th, 2012 at 11:56 am
The proper reply, “Ma’am, what town would that be? I whore in so many of them.” HF
December 18th, 2012 at 12:07 pm
I hope your scooter battery dies while your crossing the road I’m driving on. Stupid old hag!
December 18th, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Ohhh,,,wait!
How about this one?
Thanks I’ll tell your husband to get me another one just like it!
December 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Ewww what snatches! I would have laughed in their face. I like Nikkix2 resonse.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:30 pm
You know its just another example of women judging women. Too bad we can’t support one another more.
December 18th, 2012 at 12:57 pm
so agree with you…
December 18th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
If those old biddies think that outfit is “whorish” then I can only imagine that they would have dropped dead seeing all the slutty Mrs. Clauses and slutty elves out-and-about last weekend for SantaCon…
I think you looked cute and I’ve paired many a sweater dress with tall boots. Guess I’m a NYC whore (ahahahaha, if only!).
December 18th, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Would have loved to have given the 3 old ladies a piece of my mind! But man, the best comebacks always come to you afterwards. People are ridiculously mean indeed.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
My fantasy is for you to tell her off Julia-Roberts-Pretty-Woman style but IRL there’s always a voice in the back of my head saying “Always take the high road.”, even if I end up cursing A-hole-of-the-day out in my car all the way home.
December 18th, 2012 at 2:54 pm
This is such an unfortunate misunderstanding. Those women were from Finland and they were saying was taawn hore, not town whore. Taawn hore is Finnish for “I can’t wear a dress like that anymore.”
December 18th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I once had an exboyfriend tell me his friends always made fun of my green eyeshadow. My response, “If that’s all they have to criticize then I’m doing pretty damn good.” I think it’s the same in your case – the sweater dress is cute. They judged you 100% on your outfit – if that’s all they have to judge, then your doing pretty damn good. Rock that sweater dress!
December 18th, 2012 at 3:09 pm
If that sweater dress makes you the town whore, then you live in a very boring town.
December 18th, 2012 at 3:19 pm
WAIT! That came out wrong! I don’t mean that it’s a boring outfit. I mean you don’t look like a whore!
(I’m still in trouble here, aren’t I?)
December 18th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
“Tell your husband ‘Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll text him pictures of me with her husband (pointing to the one who didn’t speak).’ Merry Christmas!”
December 18th, 2012 at 4:38 pm
You’re right it takes one to know one. Love the boots!Love the sweater dress. Ignore those old hags. Work it!
December 18th, 2012 at 5:32 pm
That is completely age appropriate. Perhaps she’s forgotten that distinction. I, myself, am wearing a sweater dress but mine is knee length and is only appropriate because I’m wearing opaque tights – this is what is right for MY age. In another decade you won’t find me baring my knees in any situation – I’ll be wearing kneepads in the shower.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:48 pm
This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where he thinks of a comeback super late and flies across country to deliver it. One day, you’ll think of a comeback for those mean old ladies you’ll find them, and you’ll let ‘em have it, all while adorably dressed.
Or, you know, they may be dead by that time because they are old and they suck.
Love the boots.
December 18th, 2012 at 6:33 pm
She could not have been talking about you. You look beautiful!
December 18th, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I’m so jealous- I never even get called the country whore in mytown- stiff competition!
December 18th, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Your outfit was fine. Can’t imagine what their problem was. Crochety old biddies.
December 18th, 2012 at 10:29 pm
perhaps she was just advertising??? just letting everyone know that she was the town whore trying to drum up some business…
the dress rocks….
December 18th, 2012 at 11:18 pm
Whenever I get called a whore, I usually go straight to mind-bending vulgarity. Your results may vary.
December 19th, 2012 at 12:45 am
I would have gone with one of two answers.
One say nothing and wiggle my ass at her.
The other is to turn look her up and down and sneer “You can’t afford what I’m selling”. Arched eyebrow, curled lip and flared nostril, optional.
December 19th, 2012 at 1:45 am
Wow. I kept expecting this story to end with something like “… and then I realized she’d been saying ‘brown door’ all along.”
December 19th, 2012 at 8:00 am
I agree with the jealousy comment and add that people who insult others like that are pretty much miserable individuals who hate their lives.
It’s not you, it’s them.
Oh and I like your outfit. It’s sexy, but definitely not sleazy!:)
December 19th, 2012 at 8:28 am
What a lovely distinction! I shouldn’t be laughing, but this is the most hilarious of the things.
December 19th, 2012 at 8:37 am
They were “player hating” as the young folk say. You look cute. It probably drove them crazy.
December 19th, 2012 at 9:24 pm
You totally should’ve told them what’s up. If nothing else, it’s good blog material.
Just kidding. Good for you keeping your mouth shut. You didn’t look like a whore. Not even close.
I once overheard two girls talking about me. This is how it went:
Girl 1: “Ugh, that girl is so skinny.”
Girl 2: “Yeah, but she has big hips.”
Awesome. It took everything in me to not say anything.
December 20th, 2012 at 10:31 am
That dialogue made me crack up. Some people just need to get hobbies.
December 20th, 2012 at 10:42 am
Agreed!
December 20th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Seriously? Your outfit sounds adorable! I vote for a misunderstanding,they were gossiping about the real town whore loudly as you walked by!! See, they have to shout at each other to hear each other and they still have to repeat because those hearing aids never work, so it was just bad timing. As you can tell I deal with this regularly, I have two older parents, and yes, they shout and repeat in public, it is so much flippin fun!!!
December 21st, 2012 at 10:58 am
you look great- you did the right thing- ignore and dont let it bother you. God she must have been insicure
December 23rd, 2012 at 3:53 am
Yup, those hags are getting coal this Christmas…
December 26th, 2012 at 8:40 am
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December 30th, 2012 at 5:56 pm
How sad for them. A good reminder to enjoy our youthful bodies and be kind to others. The outfit looks great!
January 1st, 2013 at 5:35 pm
*Two* coats of mascara? Simply scandalous, LOL! I like to lead with ‘Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck’ à la Sopranos, but hey that might be somewhat extreme, wouldn’t want one of the old dears to stroke out