Note: This happened before Christmas, but I wanted to let a couple drafts ruminate before I shared them with you.
Some days I didn’t think much about the fact that Kiefer and I weren’t engaged. Some days it didn’t bug me. But some days…it bothered me a lot.
Awhile ago, I was talking to a new coworker about Kiefer and I. And when I said how long we’d been together, I suddenly felt very stupid.
Over 4 years? When did that happen? Didn’t he say he was ready to propose a little over a year ago?
Actions speak louder than words. Kiefer’s actions
told me showed me he wasn’t going to propose any time soon…if ever.
Sure, I had moved in with him while he looked for a bigger house to buy. Some people saw it as him getting ready, getting all his ducks in a row. But it made me feel like I was last on his list of priorities. And I slowly saw it as him doing the bare minimum, doing whatever he could to make me stay without fully committing to me.
Then I realized I’m the only person who will make my wants a priority.
I’m the one who is responsible for my own happiness.
And that meant not waiting any longer.