Now that I’m single, I have a lot of free time on my hands. What am I going to do with that time? I’m going to give back. I’m going to help people.
I’m going to become a superhero.
Instead of starting with a rigorous exercise regimen, I exercised my powers of observation. I watched The Avengers, so I could observe hotties like Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth real superheroes.
Dear God, Please send me a Pop-Tart-lovin’ superhero wife….
Here’s what I learned from The Avengers:
- If you’re tied to a chair, to escape, just stand up.
- It pisses Thor off when you call him a “tourist.”
- You’re a “brother”…until you start killing people. Then you’re adopted.
- If a good guy suddenly turns into a bad guy, just hit him on the head…hard. That’ll fix everything.
- The Hulk likes to smash.
What should my superhero name be? What would your superhero name be? Is a cape just asking for trouble?
Favorite Comment From the Last Post: “Oh, Thoughtsy. You’re too young and adorable to become the crazy cat lady who washes her cat but not her clothes.”—Hippie Cahier aka The Hipster
February 4th, 2013 at 8:44 am
You would be The Tart.
February 4th, 2013 at 8:46 am
I would not do a cape, instead I would go with one of those nice pointy bras to ward off all evil, or you could just point your boobs at bad men and poke em in the eye!
February 4th, 2013 at 8:51 am
That caption under the picture is a riot!!!
February 4th, 2013 at 9:14 am
How will people know you’re a superhero if you don’t have a cape?! I know, I know, there’s something to be said for actions, but really . . . it’s the cape that makes the hero.
Just trust me on this. (Because you know the words “just trust me” are always the best indicator trust is warranted!)
February 4th, 2013 at 11:07 am
Hahaha…. I loved this. I think your superhero name would be FroYoda. Conquer all the flavors, you will.
February 4th, 2013 at 11:10 am
Instead of a cape: Forever Lazy!
February 4th, 2013 at 11:28 am
I think you’re asking for trouble if you DON’T wear a cape. I’m with Misty on The Tart, and Esme can be your sidekick/catwoman. Right now I can only think of inappropriate names for her, though.
February 4th, 2013 at 12:38 pm
I had that same problem in my comment in her last post. I didn’t want to use ‘cat’ too many times, but only one unfamily friendly synonym came to mind.
February 4th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
If you’re going to wear a cape, I say it should be your alterego’s outfit. If you’re modest, maybe you could throw on a teddy or something under there. You’re single now – give old ladies on the street a real reason to call you names.
February 4th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
Brilliant! I’m with skipping stones!
If you’re going to be fabulous thoughtsy, you may as well work it!!!
February 5th, 2013 at 8:28 am
So true! I wonder what those old ladies will come up with that’s worse than “town whore.”
February 4th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Your caption could be “Living the Sweet Life while Saving Lives.” And you will be kind of like Hamburgler from BK…only a Tart.
February 4th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
I recently received the gang name “Princess Pain.” I think it works as a superhero name.
You’re free to take it. It has too many letters to tattoo across my knuckles.
February 4th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Nah, I think you should save it. That would make an excellent Roller Derby name!!
Either that or for when you finally obtain your lifelong goal of becoming a famous female rapper.
February 4th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
You know, you might be on to something. The Indigo Girls aren’t returning my calls. Maybe Salt ‘N’ Pepa will take me in. Salt ‘N’ Pepa ‘N’ Oregano.
February 5th, 2013 at 8:30 am
Ladies, can we start our own Roller Derby team? THe local one here practices 3 nights a week. I’d like to be on a team that doesn’t really practice but just wings it once a week at the games.
February 4th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Things I learned from The Incredibles: Superheros who wear capes always die horrendous deaths. Most of them get sucked into airplane engines.
February 4th, 2013 at 4:01 pm
If Pixar said it, it must be true!
February 5th, 2013 at 8:30 am
So true! But they do look nice flapping in the wind.
February 4th, 2013 at 2:52 pm
I was thinking you could be the saviour of Pop Tarts
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
February 4th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Superhero name: name of your first pet, and the name of the first street you lived in… I’m Goldy Cherwell! (And yes, my first pet was a goldfish)
February 5th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Then mine would be Pumpkin something. I don’t know the name of the first street because we moved when I was too young to know my address. Does Pumpkin sound strippery?
February 4th, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Pizzaman would be a well adored super hero. Be careful about capes though. When I was 3 years old I tied a belt around my neck and the other end to the banister rail. This was so I would not drift into orbit. I jumped down the stairs and landed choking and gagging, but mother paid not attention and proceeded to beat the living tar out of me My last super hero attempt.
February 5th, 2013 at 8:32 am
You probably scared the bejeezus out of your mom! I’m glad you survived…the choking and the beating!
February 4th, 2013 at 6:34 pm
I’d pass on the cape, but get one of those Scarlet Johanssen leather jumpsuits.
February 5th, 2013 at 8:33 am
I don’t know…I think I’m too selfconcious of my thighs for that.
February 4th, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Keep in mind that hits on the head often are the cause of good guys turning bad. That is why i recommend that when you become a caped super hero you keep that in mind. Hit bad guys on the head only one time, or maybe three. Just not two.
February 5th, 2013 at 5:25 am
Also wear a helmet. And a cape. And glasses whenever you’re off duty.
February 5th, 2013 at 8:34 am
Glasses! You think of everything!
February 5th, 2013 at 8:33 am
Only hit in odd numbers. Got it!
February 4th, 2013 at 10:44 pm
I like to smash too.
February 5th, 2013 at 4:11 am
No cape – have you not seen ‘the incredibles’
February 5th, 2013 at 8:21 am
Haha. I love Misty’s comment. The Tart has a nice ring to it
February 5th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
First: Capes always. Second: Pop-Tart Caper (you). Third: Sleepless Superheroine (me, see WTF Friday: Volume 11 on Friday).
February 6th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Totally…go. for. the. cape.
February 11th, 2013 at 8:46 am
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March 7th, 2013 at 3:47 am
Haha this was a great read! Thanks for sharing, love the little things you learned from the Avengers. Made me laugh