Three things that scare the bejeezus out of me. Three things that keep me awake at night. Three things that I consider my worst nightmare. Those three things are…
- A Pop-Tart shortage
- A chocolate shortage
- Aliens abducting, poking, probing, and prodding me (::shudder::)
If aliens are real, I want to be prepared. That’s why I viewed The Watch. They set up a Neighborhood Watch to catch a killer, and they ended up discovering aliens living in their ‘hood. Here’s what I learned:
- It really pisses off the Neighborhood Watch when you egg them and then use the pun Yolk’s on you!
- If you find a silver bowling ball, don’t put your fingers in it. Cows will die.
- The best place to pitch a tent is in Costco.
This is my kind of camping.
- If you find an alien, don’t drunk dance with him. He’ll get goo on your face.
- Aliens are like some guys. Their brains are in their…pants.
- Sometimes the Police Department rejects you because you’re just too awesome.
The most important lesson I learned is that aliens steal human skin, so they look exactly like humans. So look at the person on your left, and then look at the person on your right. One of them may be an alien.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “She may be like Perry on Phineas & Ferb. There’s a hidden chute in the fireplace that leads to his base of operation, where he stores his spy gear. (It could happen.)”—Todd Pack
March 12th, 2013 at 8:40 am
Dammit. There go my bowling plans for this morning. Stupid cows.
March 12th, 2013 at 8:40 am
Friends don’t let friends drunk dance with aliens. That’d make a great t-shirt.
March 12th, 2013 at 8:48 am
Last summer my neighbor lost about 12 cattle in the span of two days, and tests revealed nothing. Now I know why!
March 12th, 2013 at 9:27 am
I think Costco should do their own version of ‘Glamping’ (glamorous camping). Discounts for camping in bulk [groups].
March 12th, 2013 at 10:26 am
Oh god, I LITERALLY just heard this song on the radio last night driving home. I think the last time I heard it was 1987? Yeah, and now it’s in my head again. Thanks, Thoughtsy!
March 12th, 2013 at 10:39 am
Oh, aliens are real, all right. Scientists (OK, Wikipedia) say there are at least 200 million stars just in the Milky Way. If only 1/100th of 1 percent of those have a single planet with living organisims, we’re still talking 20 million planets. If only 1/100th of 1 percent of those have intelligent life, we’re talking 2,000 planets just in our galaxy. Now, if only 0.5 percent of those planets have intelligent life capable of intersellar travel, we’re looking at 10 planet with intelligent life capable of traveling from one star to the next, and if a species is smart enough to figure out how to fly between stars, you know they’re intelligent enough to love Pop-Tarts. So, if you follow this logic, then you must realize that aliens from 10 different planets may be zooming to Earth right now to take your Pop-Tarts!
March 12th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
I loved this movie hahaha. I especially loved the orgy party.
March 12th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
Well, snap, Thoughtzarella. My three year old daughter is sitting next to me on the left, and there is no one else home. Does that mean that one of us is an alien? Given that I gave birth to her, it’s either both or neither. Unless, of course…. :O
March 12th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
If aliens do come around, you could always watch ET together right?
Cheers
CCU
March 12th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
I may never look at anything silver and in an orb shaped in the same way again.
March 13th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head forever. Thanks.
March 13th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
I feel like I need to see ‘The Watch’ after reading this post! I always think of aliens as green/silver slimy things with huge heads and black oval eyes. Too many alien films maybe …