Haaaaaave you met Misty? Meeting and friending her should be your #1 priority. Why? Because whenever I see her, she gives me something. Usually vodka or Pop-Tarts.

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I have a confession to make. While I consider myself pretty well read…having a degree in English Lit, another degree in Law, and making a consistent attempt to read at least a few books a month (that I try to fit in around my busy TV watching work and child rearing schedule), there is one book that I shamefully have never read. And that book is…The Princess Bride.

But then again, who needs books when you have movies? And in fact, The Princess Bride movie is one of the funniest, most irreverent, clever and iconic movies that I have ever seen. And Thoughtsy’s Movies Teach Us is all about movies, so I guess the fact that I’ve seen this movie more than a few hundred dozen times, is a good start on this post, yes? Who needs books anyway?

There are many life lessons contained in this epic movie. From the very beginning, if you were a child of the 80′s like me, the very sounds of the dated Atari-like baseball video game brings you back to a more innocent and childlike period in your life. A time when, like the young boy in the film, you were home sick from school and your grandfather came to read you a book to pass the time. Where you happily shut down your video game and accepted your doting grandpa’s playful cheek pinch, and settled in for an afternoon of literary entertainment. I mean, that happened to you all the time when you were young, right? Ok, fine… it didn’t happen here either. Whilst there is the whole sick kid/grandpa reading thing, as most young boys would be, this one is similarly unenthused about his grandpa’s visit. But things change soon after the opening pages of the novel, which the boy promises to “try to stay awake” for.

RIP Peter Falk.

Much like the character Fred Savage plays in this movie, I too learned quite a lot from this movie. One of the most important lessons I learned was that after all these years, I still can pretty much quote it verbatim. So, even though I might not remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, it’s good to know that arcane 80′s movie dialogue is still firmly implanted in the ole recesses of my noggin’. Score!

Lessons From The Princess Bride

• ROUS’s definitely exist, and you should NOT expect Buttercup to help save you from them.
• The Dread Pirate Roberts does not take prisoners . . . except for those times where he does.
• Death cannot stop true love.
• “No more rhymes now, I mean it! (Anybody want a peanut?)”
• “You keep using that word . . . I do not think it means what you think it means.”
• “I am not left handed.”
• People in masks cannot be trusted.
• Masks are terribly comfortable and everyone will be wearing them in the future.
• “You put down your rock and I put down my sword and we try to kill each other like civilized people.”

Inconceivable!

• Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
• Life IS pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
• Lies do not become men of action.
• Always be honest if it is for posterity.
• If you are seven feet tall and yell at everyone to move, they will part like the Red Sea.
• Fezzik jogs memories too hard.
• Bringing up a painful subject is like giving a paper cut and pouring lemon juice on it.
• People can be only mostly dead, which is slightly alive.
• True love is the greatest thing in the world . . . except for a nice MLT. Mutton, lettuce & tomato, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe.
•  Mawedge. Mawedge is what bwings us togevah today.
• “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
• There is a worse fate than “to the death.”
  

  Drop. Your. Sword.

• Fred Savage doesn’t mind the kissing parts so much.

And finally . . .

• “As you wish” means “I love you.”