Last week I
had to get up earlier than usual was late to work because I had to scrape frost off my windshield. This week…I’m wondering if I’d get fired for taking off my pants.
I’m hot. And not sexy hot. I’m sweaty hot. And not glistening sweaty. I’m I-think-I-just-wet-my-underoos-no-that’s-just-sweat sweaty.
That’s how hot it is. I don’t even care how embarrassing it is to share with you that my thighs have soaked my undies. To dry them, I’m sitting spread-eagle at my desk…in a dress. Classy.
My legs scream “Open for Business,” but I don’t care.
we’re I’m sharing, although I have a cold water bottle behind my neck, I really want to shove it down the front of my dress.
Apparently, switching on the AC requires a gazillion different approvals plus a dead body, so yesterday and again today we’re all sitting inside a 90-degree building….crying because no one would sacrifice themselves to the AC gods.
Ok, so maybe I was the only one actually crying. But only half of the time. The other half of the time I was begging for a Channing Tatum-look-a-like cabana boy to fan me.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I used to have an apartment where there was a small access panel (to the bath plumbing) in my bedroom. The first guy I showed it to swore that was where the trolls live. I never opened it, just to be sure.”—BluzDude
Today is February 22: National Margarita Day!
Because today isn’t a holiday (It obviously should be.), I have to wait until after work to partake in some sugary-rimmed goodness.
Let’s right. I said it: Sugar rim. I choose sugar over salt. But really…does that surprise you?
After work, I’ll be enjoying a margarita-filled girls’ night out. If you’re nearby, feel free to join me. If you’re not nearby, fly out. Enter “GETDRUNKWITHTHOUGHTSY” in the coupon code box for a discounted ticket.
If you can’t make it,
you must hate me I completely understand. Instead check out Vesta’s cocktail hour at The Cowardly Feminist.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Nothing wrong with living with your mom! Sensible young man, saving money for his future.”—Jill Pinnella Corso
Since the Florida Keys trip didn’t go exactly as planned, I missed out on some fun activities.
Like snorkeling. Swimming with the fishes (literally, not in the mafia way) in the clear blue waters will have to wait for a future trip.
I swimsuited and snorkeled up and tried to snorkel in the bathtub at home, and I even threw in some of Radley’s toys for wildlife, but it just wasn’t the same.
I also missed my opportunity to meet a blogger in Key West. Oma from Blurt (my long-lost father who I was stolen from at birth) was on his Keys vacation while I was down there.
What are the chances? So we planned to meet.
Only I wasn’t feeling well the day we were supposed to meet, so I couldn’t make it.
Instead, I sent him this beachy-themed letter instead:
The waters in the Keys are surprisingly accurate…and fast.
Ok, ok, ok. I mailed it. #11 on my 35 Before 35 completed!
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Everyone keeps asking what I did for NYE and my answer is, ‘nothing.’ Then they ask why and my answer is, ’cause I hate people.’ Makes me seem like a doll.”—Lorraine
It’s nearly election day. You haven’t read anything political on this blog because I don’t really follow what’s going on.
Which is why you should vote for me, Thoughtsy Appear, in your write-in vote. Lorraine will be my running mate.
I promise you…
- A chicken in every pot.
- A car in every garage.
- A Pop-Tart in every toaster.
- Ice cream in every freezer.
And a Zombie Apocalypse Readiness Plan. I can’t believe this topic didn’t come up in the debates.
Also, people keep talking about a bacon shortage. What about a potential chocolate shortage? Why isn’t anyone worried about that?
In addition to a Zombie Apocalypse Readiness Plan, we’ll need a Chocolate-Shortage Readiness Plan as well. These will be my first orders of business.
Remember…a vote for me is a vote for chocolate.