Tag Archives: Books

The Baby Came a Week Early…And There Was Much Rejoicing

LilanaGuess who decided to grace us with her presence a week early at 6-something AM on February 20th?

Congrats to Carrie, BlissfulBrit, and 1PointPerspective for guessing the correct day!

Let’s just call her Baby Scout to go with Boo and Radley.

Movie Monday: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My brother Lunchbox and I always talk about movies. It’s pretty much the only thing we talk about. Besides Percy Q. Poodle.

Thoughtsy: How’s the West Coast?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s the fiance?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s Percy?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: Seen any good movies lately?


Lunchbox: Did you see Perks of Being a Wallflower? We had dinner with the Chboskys.

Thoughtsy: …

Lunchbox: The writer and director of the movie.

Thoughtsy: Did you just name drop?

I’d been saving my write up of the movie for a special occasion, and I’m pretty sure that conversation counts. Mark this as the day that I began my journey towards linking myself to Kevin Bacon through 6 degrees.

Here’s what I learned from the movie:

  • Have a living room dance routine prepared for homecoming.
  • At parties, don’t eat the brownies.
  • If you do eat the brownies, you’ll crave milkshakes.
  • Always let the guy pick the makeout music.

Most importantly, I learned that we accept the love we think we deserve.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

“That’s the good thing about hanging out with bloggers. Most of them are kind of f-cked up in the same way you are.”—The Bloggess

Have you read any posts by The Bloggess? Have you read her book: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson?

On Sunday Misty (go to her blog for autographed stuff)  and I met The Bloggess. Here’s how it went down:

Thoughtsy: Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to meet you!

Jenny: It’s nice to meet you! What’s in the gift bag? Alcohol? Kittens?

Thoughtsy: Kitten-related stuff. And a shirt like mine so we can be twinsies. Sooooo…do you like my shirt?

That last part is not true. I tug on my shirt when I’m nervous…it’s my Mary Catherine Gallagher nervous trait.

Hi, I’m Thoughtsy. You’re awesome. Please accept this humble offering. BTW…Do you like my shirt?

If you haven’t read Jenny’s book, you should. It’s been on the New York Times Bestseller’s List for a month. If you’re still not convinced, maybe some bullets Movies-Teach-Us-style will persuade you.

Here’s what I learned from the book:

  • Star Wars is not a documentary.
  • Bobcats make good house pets.
  • “Intestines” is French for “poop rope.”
  • Feral cats are actually vampire cougars.
  • Drugs make your boobies fall off.
  • Licking wine off your arm is classy.

Well, Jenny, you’ve just met the classiest person to ever walk the earth.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “So glad I didn’t have to read that headline and say, ‘Oh, I knew Thoughtsy, and this is a set up…she would NEVER pee in the woods!’ Glad you lived to tell the tale yourself!”—Suzicate

I Said a Bad Word

I need to expand my vocabulary. In particular, my foul-mouth vocabulary.

For example…

Me: He’s such a—

You: Use your words….

Me: Poopyhead!

You: Seriously? Fail.

Do I want every other word that escapes my lips to be a cuss word? No.

But what if I’m ever asked to be on Jerry Springer? I need to spice it up a bit. Maybe even learn to throw a punch.

Speaking of punches, what if I find myself in some type of confrontation? I need to sound intimidating. And I can sound intimidating by cursing.

Scary Person: I’m gonna gut you!

Me: Well…that’s not very nice.

::Sounds of Scary Person beating me into a coma::

Really. It’s for my own protection. So I’ve decided to buy this book I saw at Retro Metro with Misty.

Creative Cursing for the Cursing-Challenged

Flipping the pages, I was able to come up with some fun words that top even “faucet butt.”

For the Playa...

For the whores who like a man who wears a fanny pack.

For the women of questionable virtue...

Homework: Try to incorporate one of these into a conversation today.

I Was on the Nice List

Celebrity sighting! Celebrity sighting!

Just before the holidays, I paid a visit to Santa. He was going through cookie withdraw, and that’s why he looked a little green. Santa and I talked a little bit about this past year, my behavior, and my Christmas list.

About half way through our conversation, I realized it wasn’t really Santa. This was an imposter!

How did I know?

No beard.

And I always thought Santa had a bigger “bowl full of jelly.”

It was Mr. Ba Humbug, Scrooge’s green counterpart: The Grinch.

The Grinch says, "You know who's cool? This gal."

This is what Kiefer calls my rock star hair. Translation: I didn’t brush it look in the mirror when I parted it.

After I pointed out he wasn’t really Santa, the Grinch and I exchanged a few words. I agreed to bake him delicious cookies if he would agree to not steal my presents on Christmas Eve.

My Christmas presents were under the tree Christmas morning, so obviously the Grinch as turned over a new leaf thanks to Cindy Loo Hoo me.

I didn’t get the magic weight loss pills I was hoping for (so I assume my granny panties neighbor is doing well), but here is a sampling of what I received:

That’s the ad the Kindle stopped on…it’s not my fault.

What’s that little blue thing in the corner by the camera? I’ll explain that later.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! What was your favorite gift that you received? And what was your favorite gift that you gave to someone else?


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