When Kiefer first suggested we watch Hansel and Gretel Get Baked on Netflix Instant Viewing, I was stoked. The title was a pun! Puns equal greatness….sometimes.
Normally, stoner movies are not my thing, but this movie was actually funny. Plus, Cary Elwes is in it…in disguise.
Here’s what I learned:
- I don’t do drugs, but even I would be tempted by a chocolatey one called “Black Forest.”
- Hansel and Gretel’s parents often go on weekend getaways with the Stiltskins.
- If an old lady tells you not to eat her gingerbread house, don’t eat her gingerbread house. If you do, she will eat you.
- Any little old lady from Pasadena that deals drugs is a witch.
- Don’t leave Skittles behind as markers to find your way. Someone (a stoner) will eat them, and you will get lost.
Most importantly, I learned not to do drugs. Ever. Unless you want to be eaten by a witch and turned into a zombie.
The other day I posted about lemon-flavored Oreos. And they were delicious. Then I read about watermelon-flavored Oreos…and I cringed.
I love watermelon. But artificial watermelon flavor tastes gross to me. I feel the same way about grapes and apples.
Has anyone tried the watermelon Oreos? Does anyone want to?
Anyways, I’ve seen tons of yummy new foods in the store lately, but I’m not sure what to do with them. I can’t just eat them. That’s so boring!
This counts as a fruit.
How can I make this cookie better?
Dessert for breakfast!
How can I turn add even more sugar to this cereal?
I love desserts. Duh. And I love baking. But I am not creative or brave enough to create my own recipes. That’s where you come in.
Sugar Dish Me, Domestic Rebel, Girl in a Food Frenzy, Nana Bread, ChocChip Guru, Brittany, and all you other foodies…I’m calling you out.*
This is where you say, “Challenge Accepted.”
What can you make with lemon Oreos or this cereal? I personally am going to use the Oreo as a garnish on a Lemon Meringue Pie Martini.
*I totally stole this idea from Misty. If you’re looking for drink recipes, go here.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: Goes to UndercoverL for using the word ”asshat” and to Wordifull Melanie for actually leaving a Pop-Tart. The comment got messed up, but it was perfect in the email.
Remember how I’m taking the Chocolate Challenge and doing everything the chocolate tells me to do?
Now my mom is joining in on the fun.
She came over for dinner, and afterwards…
Thoughtsy’s Mom: May I have one of your chocolates?
Thoughtsy: Sure. But save the wrapper. You need to do whatever it tells you to do.
Thoughtsy’s Mom: ::unwraps chocolate and pops it in her mouth::
Thoughtsy: What does it say?
Indulge in dark.
Thoughtsy’s Mom: “Indulge in dark.” What does that mean?
Thoughtsy: It means…you have to sleep with a Black man.
Thoughtsy’s Mom: ?????
Thoughtsy: It’s ok. I can take this one for you.
During our no-AC-heat-wave the other week, I was extra cranky. Which meant I ate a lot of chocolate.
Starting with a chocolate leftover from Valentine’s Day:
Make someone melt today.
I had to lick the wrapper clean because the chocolate was melty.
Obviously, I got someone else’s chocolate because I was the one who was melting. Jerks….
Annoyed that the chocolate wronged me, I bought popsicles. Worried that they may have melted the second I walked inside, I shoved them in the freezer to refreeze before partaking.
To kill time, I ate another melty chocolate, which said, “Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
Whoa. Maybe that first chocolate was mine. Now I had two choices:
- Hoard all of the popsicles and make someone melt today. Bwahahahaha!
- Share the popsicles and their freezy goodness.
So I shared the popsicles with my coworkers. After all, the box had 12. So 9 lucky coworkers got popsicles. Yes, I had 3. Don’t judge.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Huh. I thought cats needed to be hung to dry. Boy do I feel stupid….”—ttgeorges1123
Tuesday and Wednesday work was hot. And when I got home after work…my apartment’s AC was broken. Of course. Welcome to my life.
The heat sent me into an extreme sloth-like state. Because it was too hot to make my own decisions, I decided to put the responsibility on someone else.
Remember when the Dove chocolate gave me a sign? Well…I’ve decided to let chocolate dictate my life.
That’s right: a dessert dictator. It was that or the Magic 8 Ball.
I’m saving all the wrappers from my Dove chocolate, and I’m doing what the chocolate tells me to do.
This is the first wrapper:
Do what feels right. Obviously, it felt right to eat the lower left corner of the wrapper.
What feels right is…to have another piece of chocolate.
The next wrapper said:
Indulge your every whim.
This confirmed that the second piece was ok.
I think I’m going to like this challenge.
Have a great weekend! I’ll be in Pittsburgh, so let me know what to check out while I’m there.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Be careful, Thoughtsy. One minute you’re posting a pic of your hot, sweaty thighs, the next you’re addicted to sexting. Slippery slope….”—BluzDude