Tag Archives: Food

Me No Share Cookies…or Cupcakes…or Anything

When I first started dating the Cupcake Dangler, I had to come out of the blog-closet to him:

CD: How long have you been blogging for?

Thoughtsy: About 3 years.

CD: Wow! So I have a lot of reading to do.

Thoughtsy: Awww…. That’s so cute that you want to read it. But you can’t. Not now. Maybe not ever.

To soften the blow, I offered to let CD pick his name. That was a mistake.

CD: I’ve always liked the name “David.”

Thoughtsy: That’s…so…boring. (Author’s Note: No offense to people named “David.”)

CD: How about Lance?

Thoughtsy: Isn’t that a Backstreet Boy? I mean, NSync. You’re not allowed to pick your blog name anymore. You can’t be trusted.

How could I be with a guy who possibly secretly liked boy bands?

Then…he bought me this cupcake. (Translation: I snuck it into his grocery cart, and he pretended not to notice.)

A cookie and a cupcake!

A cookie and a cupcake!

Two desserts. In one dessert! I thought the tables had turned in his favor.

Then he suggested we split it. Split. It.

Which is pretty much the same thing as…

  1. Calling me “fat.”
  2. Questioning my dessert-eating ability.
  3. Taking food right out of my mouth.

That’s when I first realized I made a horrible mistake. It was the beginning of the end for him.


Chocolate Challenge: Sleep Around

Remember how I’m taking the Chocolate Challenge and doing everything the chocolate tells me to do?

Now my mom is joining in on the fun.

She came over for dinner, and afterwards…

Thoughtsy’s Mom: May I have one of your chocolates?

Thoughtsy: Sure. But save the wrapper. You need to do whatever it tells you to do.

Thoughtsy’s Mom: ::unwraps chocolate and pops it in her mouth::

Thoughtsy: What does it say?

Indulge in dark.

Indulge in dark.

Thoughtsy’s Mom: “Indulge in dark.” What does that mean?

Thoughtsy: It means…you have to sleep with a Black man.

Thoughtsy’s Mom: ?????

Thoughtsy: It’s ok. I can take this one for you.


I Locked Cupcakes in the Car and Didn’t Crack the Window

A few weeks ago, I locked my keys in the car. At work. Oops.

Luckily, my mom has an extra key. Unluckily, I work for the Special Forces, so there’s too much hassle security involved for her to bring me the key.

Cupcake Dangler (CD): Where are the cupcakes you baked?

Me: In my car. For safekeeping. With my keys.

I was going to walk to meet my mom because it’s only a mile off post. And then CD offered to drive me because he really wanted a cupcake.

Once we reached the key drop-off point, I called my mom from CD’s phone (because mine was locked in my car) to see where she was.

Me: Someone from work was nice enough to drive me….

CD: “Someone from work?” I’m hurt. I don’t get to meet your mom?

Me: I can’t tell my mom it was you!  Then she’ll save your phone number, and you’ll get random texts from her asking if I’m ok if she can’t get ahold of me. And that’s embarrassing.

Then later that day, my mom texted me this:

Mom: Was that him?

Me: Yep. Don’t save his phone number, ok?

Mom: Too late.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “This is eery. I JUST told my family I wanted eyelash extensions for Mother’s Day, and they laughed and laughed. And then laughed some more. Fuckers. I’m showing them all this post.”—Carmen


Movie Monday: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My brother Lunchbox and I always talk about movies. It’s pretty much the only thing we talk about. Besides Percy Q. Poodle.

Thoughtsy: How’s the West Coast?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s the fiance?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: How’s Percy?

Lunchbox: Good.

Thoughtsy: Seen any good movies lately?

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER

Lunchbox: Did you see Perks of Being a Wallflower? We had dinner with the Chboskys.

Thoughtsy: …

Lunchbox: The writer and director of the movie.

Thoughtsy: Did you just name drop?

I’d been saving my write up of the movie for a special occasion, and I’m pretty sure that conversation counts. Mark this as the day that I began my journey towards linking myself to Kevin Bacon through 6 degrees.

Here’s what I learned from the movie:

  • Have a living room dance routine prepared for homecoming.
  • At parties, don’t eat the brownies.
  • If you do eat the brownies, you’ll crave milkshakes.
  • Always let the guy pick the makeout music.

Most importantly, I learned that we accept the love we think we deserve.


Please Send Me Your Candy

Recently, I went hunting. For Carrot Cake M&Ms.

You: Whoa, Thoughtsy! Those sound amazing! Where can I find them?

I don’t know. I can tell you where I did not find them: two local Walmarts, a Target, a CVS, an end of a rainbow, and four grocery stores.

Just like the Candy Corn Oreos. I never found those either.

I was beginning to think that God hated me.

Or that the blogging world had turned on me.

All of You: Let’s make up yummy candy that doesn’t exist just to mess with Thoughtsy!

Thoughtsy: Jerks….

Then…this came in the mail:

carrot cake

Thank you, Heather at SugarDishMe, for the Carrot Cake M&Ms! You are super awesome! I dropped a thank-you gift in the mail yesterday.

Sunday night I made Carrot Cake Magic Bars. Deeeeelicious.

 Tonight…Cream Cheese and Carrot Cake M&Ms Cookies.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “If someone asks about your eyes, I think you should just tilt your head slightly and stare silently at them.”—Laura


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