When I was little, I always thought it would be cool to have a house with hidden rooms and secret passages.
Now, as a semi-adult, I realize that would be an awful idea. What if I got stuck in a hidden room? No one would be able to find me. Or, even worse…what if there was a secret room that I didn’t know about, and a psychokiller lived in that room?
The Pact is a perfect example of why secret rooms are a bad idea.
Why buy a Ouija board when you can draw your own?
Here’s what I learned from the movie:
- Always pee with the door open. Even when other people are in the house.
- If you run outside after a ghost attack, don’t get too comfortable. You have to go back inside to get the child you forgot.
- If someone turns down ice cream, she’s definitely been attacked by a ghost.
- When at a motel, it’s totally safe to walk outside to the vending machine in only your tanktop and undies.
- It’s also totally safe to ride your motorcycle in the same outfit…as long as you put on a helmet.
Most importantly, I learned that just because a movie is called “The Pact” doesn’t mean there’s a pact mentioned in the movie…ever.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Norma Jean definitely loves me. She was meowing constantly at about midnight last night so I got up to see what her problem was because sometimes she talks to the ceiling. She found a bug. And she killed it. That’s true love.”—SugarDishMe
Instead of being a superhero, I’m considering being a hunter…like Sam and Dean in Supernatural. Maybe I could be their sidekick. And then one of them—I don’t care which one (60% Dean, 40% Sam)—would fall for me, and we could raise our own little pie-eating demon hunters.
I know not to take candy from strangers, but I would totally get in this van.
Although I’m an excellent pie eater, I suspect it will take more to impress them, so I decided to brush up on my supernatural knowledge through some movies: ParaNorman and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
I didn’t learn much from ParaNorman. Since it’s a cartoon, I don’t know how reliable of a source it is.
- You’d think after The Sixth Sense, when a kid says he sees dead people, more alive people would believe him.
- Your snack will fall from the vending machine before the zombies get you.
With all the Twilight hype, I thought it was important to get another vampire perspective. Plus Honest Abe was President. That makes him a credible source.
- Vampires don’t sparkle.
- Vampires don’t like silver.
- The South lost the Civil War because they were all vampires.
- You can kill a vampire with your silver watch. But only if you say, “Time to die” while you stab him through the heart with the watch.
Ok, so I totally made up the “Time to die” part. You don’t have to say that, but you should.
I love watching horror movies.
And by “love,” I mean sometimes I cover my eyes or bury my head in the Kiefer’s shoulder. (You know what makes me feel better? Gift baskets. With Pop-Tarts.)
I watched the first Paranormal Activity movie* by myself. Big mistake.
That night when I (maybe) kicked the sheet off, I freaked out that it was an evil spirit (probably).
So no way am I watching the third movie alone. Kiefer
volunteered was volunteered (by me) to watch the third movie with me…which meant he had to watch the first two movies.
Let me start by telling you what I learned about Kiefer.
Kiefer: The dog better not get hurt.
Me: Do you or do you not see the baby in the crib?
Sorry, Boo and Radley. Daddy loves Spot more than you.
Here’s what we learned from the movies:
- Filming a movie documentary style makes it true.
- This movie is a true story that totally happened to my best friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s sister.
- Always make someone else sleep closer to the door.
- Tie yourself to the bed so demons can’t pull you off.
- Don’t leave Ouija boards laying around for demons to play with.
The most important thing I learned is that if an evil spirit is stalking you, you can transfer it to your sister.
And I don’t have a sister. Which means I’m screwed.
*The first movie scared me. The sequel kinda stunk. Typical.
There is more to New Orleans than just bars and beads.
It’s also about ghosts…in bars.
Blarney and I took a ghost tour that stopped at a haunted bar. Awesomeness. That bar was called LaFitte’s and was owned by a pirate. Rrrrrr….
We went back to see it in the daylight…where I saw this in the courtyard:
I think this lizard is the Pirate LaFitte reincarnated.
We also visited the grave of VooDoo Queen Marie Laveau. Here. Educate yourself.
New Orleans Cemetery Fun Fact #1: Nicholas Cage will be buried in the same cemetery as the VooDoo Queen. His grave is a pyramid.
New Orleans Cemetery Fun Fact #2: When the caretaker offers a tour and then locks you in the cemetery, don’t panic because OH-MY-GOD-YOU’RE-LOCKED-IN-A-CEMETERY-NEXT-TO-THE-PROJECTS-WITH-A-STRANGE-MAN-WHO-MAY-SACRIFICE-YOU-TO-THE-VOODOO-QUEEN. He’s just keeping the ghosts in and the hoodlums out.
I was afraid to take a picture of the VooDoo Queen’s grave, but I did buy lots of VooDoo Dolls.
That's Pinhead in the middle.
PS: Did you enter to win the Chocolate Zombie Bunny yet?