Tag Archives: Halloween

You’ve Reached Your Final Destination

So you’re probably wondering if I completed my Final Destination Halloween Movie Marathon.

Or maybe you weren’t wondering.

But you are now, aren’t ya?

I did not finish it before Halloween. Travel for work interfered. Stupid work…always interfering with my blogging.

You all should take up a collection so I can quit work and just blog all the time. Anyone want to take the lead on that? Anyone? Hello?

Anyways…here’s what I learned from the Final Destination series:

  • If the song “Highway to Hell” comes on the radio, stop driving. Immediately.
  • Never drive across a bridge. It’ll collapse.
  • Never go through a carwash. You might drown.
  • Never go into a home improvement store. You’ll get shot with a nail gun.
  • If you call Buddha “fat,” his statue will fall on your head and kill you.
  • When your horseshoe diamond ring falls in the garbage disposal, just let it go. Let it go, my friend.

Most importantly, I learned not to ignore the signs. Sometimes they’re subtle signs; sometimes they’re obvious signs, and sometimes you need to fill in the blanks. For example, “Do Not Enter” actually means “Do Not Enter…because you’re about to be impaled.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I love it when you get a little mushy on here. It makes me feel warm like someone light a blow torch in my colon. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your amazing family!”—Brittany


Pocahontas Fraternizes with Zombies

This Halloween Kiefer and I wanted our costumes to match. He was going to be an outlaw, and I was going to be a saloon girl.

Then I realized saloon girl costumes aren’t very flattering for my body shape. And Kiefer decided he didn’t like his outlaw costume.

So we decided on cowboys and indians to out the biggest conspiracy theory ever. It’s so secret you’ve probably never even heard of it.

Zombies inhabited the Wild West.

So we did cowboys and indians zombie style.

Except I had just gotten back from San Antonio, and I was too exhausted to do any zombie makeup. So I half-assed it by just wearing zombie contacts.

Which you can’t even see in this picture…. Fail….

Kiefer, Me, Elvis, Blarney

We also solved the mystery of Elvis: He’s totally alive.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Yessssss. And NOW… hack it into pieces.”—Sugardishme


I Won the Pumpkin Battle

They had me outnumbered….

But I triumphed.


Father Nearly Killed by Sons in Haunted Forest

Saturday night Kiefer and I took Boo (age 12) and Radley (nearly 10) to Markoff’s Haunted Forest.

It’s like a haunted house…except it’s a forest. It’s really scary.

Imagine stumbling around in the dark, only to be temporarily blinded by a bright light, and once your sight returns, a creepy guy is in your face with a knife. All the while, you can hear the people screaming at the sounds of a chainsaw.

What? I’m just out here cutting wood.

Saturday morning we started having second thoughts about bringing Boo and Radley.

Kiefer: If you start to get scared, just remember it’s not real.

Thoughtsy: Think of it as looking for Halloween costume ideas. And there’s not even a chain in the chainsaw.

To enter the forest, first you go through a little cave, and at the exit stands a really creepy looking guy.

He took it easy on Boo and Radley because Boo hung on Kiefer’s right arm while Radley held Kiefer’s left with a death grip.

But just when I thought I made it past him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, gently touched my ear, and growled in the other ear.

I did what any normal girl would do. I screamed bloody murder.

Radley begged to stop and go back. But after a few seconds, he calmed down and wanted to keep going.

At the really scary parts, I heard this:

Boo or Radley: They’re not real….

Kiefer: Stop pulling on my hoodie! You’re choking me!

Really Kiefer was lucky he made it out alive.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “When all else fails, I watch Sleepy Hollow because Johnny Depp says he played the character pretending he was Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote as a schoolgirl, and of course Nightmare Before Christmas (which is TECHNICALLY a Christmas movie, but it makes the store decoration transitions easier).”—Leauxra


Your Queue Has Been Reordered

Dear Everyone Else in the Entire World Other Netflix Subscribers,

I need your help. It’s nearly Halloween, and I just started my annual Halloween movie marathon.

Oops…. My bad.

Last year I watched the Scream series, the year before was Friday the 13th (which was insane because there were 12 movies), and the year before it was Halloween.

This year I’m watching Final Destination. That’s 5 movies. I think I can watch 5 movies in the two remaining weeks. Except I’m traveling for 7 of those days.

Craaaaaaaap.

So no one else should rent those movies from Netflix. I can’t have “Short Wait,” “Long Wait,” or “Very Long Wait” popping up in my queue.

Seriously. Whoever has Final Destination 3…send it back ASAP. Did you put it in the mail? You did? Thanks! There’s a red envelope with a shiny (ooooo, shiny!) foil Pop-Tart package coming your way.

Just in case that’s not enough, here’s a quick Movies Teach Us post about the first Final Destination:

  • Never rip an old flight ticket off your luggage.
  • The Candyman also works as a mortician. (::shudder::)
  • Never go to Paris.

Sincerely,

Thoughtsy


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