Tag Archives: How I Met Your Mother

May 8, 2013

Freshly Pegged: Wolves Are the New Lap Dogs

By thoughtsappear

Haaaaaave you met Peg? I blog crush on her and her Reese’s Cups. (No, that’s not an euphemism.)

Have you heard about Peg’s series Freshly Pegged? That’s where I am today. Because you know who deserves to be Freshly Pegged?

Someone who laughs in the face of danger.

Someone who walks straight into a wolf’s den and says, “I’m not afraid of you.”

Someone who loves all things furry.

Me.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I once went on a date with a guy that I’m sure had his mother in his freezer at home. He spoke to me with his head tilted to the left and didn’t move his lips when he spoke. During the date I texted my BFF, ‘I know that he wants to wear my boobs for a hat, I do not want to be material for nipple beanies!’ I toughed out the comedy show and made a quick getaway. Thankfully he didn’t know where I live. Dating sucks.”—TrippyBeth

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in Animals

March 2, 2012

I Am the Blue Wombat

By thoughtsappear

Haaaaaaave you met Tom?

I’ll be over at his blog tomorrow with a Movies Teach Us guest post about how to become a superhero.

I'm the one in blue. Hence the name "The Blue Wombat."

So if the post goes up tomorrow, why am I telling you now?

Because tomorrow…

A. I may be in a cannoli-induced coma.

B. I suspect Esme of tampering with my blog.

C. I don’t trust the automatic post scheduler.

D. It’s impossible for me to stay up past midnight…the post goes live at 12:01.

E. All of the above.

13 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Movies/TV

January 31, 2012

I See Blue People

By thoughtsappear

Tra la la la la la. La la la la la.

I watched The Smurfs. Although I grew up with those little guys, I wasn’t particularly interested in the movie until I saw that Doogie Barney Neil Patrick Harris was in it.

And although I spent most of the movie thinking, “That’s not Barney. I wanna see Barney from How I Met Your Mother,” I still learned a lot.

  • Smurfs are 3 apples high. I always thought they were smaller.
  • Despite the similar spelling, a lavatory cannot function as a laboratory.
  • Smurfs invented frozen pizza.
  • Use “smurf” instead of “beep” for expletives. Example: Where in the smurf are we?
  • Azrael the cat is a boy.

Most importantly, I finally understand the fascination women have with men in kilts. Gutsy Smurf? He’s my hero.

I'm sexy and I know it.

32 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Movies/TV

January 13, 2012

You Call That a Crab Cake?

By thoughtsappear

Dear States Other Than Maryland,

I live in Maryland. Home of the crab. Crab dip, crab cakes, crab anything—We do it right.

When you order a crab cake in Maryland, this is what you get:

Note that there is more crab than filler.

A dome of chunky crab meat. Mmmmm….

While visiting another state (I won’t point any fingers), I made the mistake of ordering a Maryland crab cake. A mistake that I won’t make ever again.

Because when you order a Maryland crab cake while you’re in another state, you get a freakin’ crabby patty that’s more bread than crab. Seriously? Pathetic….

I should sue you for pain, suffering, disappointment, and other damages. The State of Maryland should sue you for slander or false advertising. Lawyered!

Please take immediate action. On every menu that lists Maryland Crab Cakes, please remove Maryland Crab Cake and replace it with Mediocre Crab Cake or Not-a-Maryland Crab Cake.

Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter.

Very crabby,

Thoughtsy

PS: If you don’t have Old Bay, don’t even bother serving crab. Did you just say, What’s Old Bay? I can’t even look at you right now I’m so upset.

51 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , | posted in Food

March 2, 2011

I’m Sorry, Soooooo Sorry

By thoughtsappear

First, let me apologize to all you readers. After looking at some of my most popular search terms, I realized…

  1. I’m not writing about what you want to read.
  2. I’m not answering your questions.

I am so sorry for my blogger shortcomings. My blog is just barely over a year old (my 1-year anniversary was Friday). I’m still learning.

What You Want to Read More Of

  • Zombie cupcakes—Genius. I’ll look for a recipe.
  • Reverse psychology on men—I’ll read another Mars and Venus book.
  • Fruits that can enlarge a penis—Bananas. Duh.
  • Pop-Tarts ice cream—I think I love you. Reveal yourself.

Questions Answered

  • Does Ben and Jerry’s Mud Pie ice cream have mud in it? You’re an idiot.
  • Can Edy’s fruit bars be eaten before colonoscopies? Dude, the less you eat the better.
  • Does Barney from HIMYM have a boyfriend? I feel responsible for this confusion. In the early blogging days, I blogged about Barney quite a bit. Anyways, Barney is not real. Sorry for the confusion. Also…You’re an idiot.

Quick and Handy Navigation

  • I think I lost my sanity.—You won’t find it here.
  • I luv to piss my knickers.—May I recommend this? People still say “knickers?”
  • I love wet socks.—BOLD-FACED LIE! Nobody loves wet socks. Nobody.
  • Pick up line: You’re yummy.—May I recommend singling out the arms?
  • Boob closeup and Bombastic Boobies—Right here: Zombie boob.

42 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Writing

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