Tag Archives: Pop-Tarts

March 27, 2013

It Feels Good to be a Gangsta

By thoughtsappear

Whenever I see other bloggers, we tend to exchange gifts. Usually people give me Pop-Tarts, and I give…booze.

And I don’t do the classy thing and give a nice bottle of wine, I give flavored liquor…in tiny bottles…to carry in your purse and whip out in an emergency.

Why? Because you never know when you’ll need a shot of vodka…to sterilize a zombie bite. Obviously.

Are you following my logic here? Probably not. Just know that on this blog, everything comes down to 3 5 things:

  • Zombies
  • Pop-Tarts
  • Dessert
  • Key Lime Pie Martinis
  • Gifts for Me

Anyways…last weekend was all about Pop-Tarts and Gifts for Me.

pop-tarts

Misty made me homemade Fig and Bacon Pop-Tarts.

I was so impressed with the homemadeness I blocked out the bacon part. You see…

Confession #1: I don’t really like bacon.

GASP! There are only 2 exceptions.

  1. The first is the bacon that’s crumbled up on salads that’s covered in so much brown-sugary-maple goodness that all you taste is sugar.
  2. The second is this:

bacon1

Hesitant Bite #1

bacon2

Need-a-Bigger-Mouth Bite #2

That’s right, Misty. Your Pop-Tart was yummy. I mean that in a undirty, uncreepy way.

But wait…that’s not all. I got even more Pop-Tarts! Some from Misty and more from The Hipster. (Note: I did not give The Hipster booze. I gave her cookies.)

pop-tart1

The Hipster and I also had the 3 Cs this weekend: crab, chocolate, and ice cream. Life is good.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta Pop-Tartsta.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Honestly, if you’re being attacked by a shark, you’re pretty screwed no matter how many heads it has. (Except zero. If a zero headed shark attacks you, you’ll probably be OK.)”—The Cutter Rambles

30 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Food

March 5, 2013

10 Commandments of My Future Boyfriend

By thoughtsappear

Being single (and reflecting on past relationships) helps you realize what you want in your new relationship.

I made a list. I really like lists if you haven’t noticed.

  1. Thou shall list Facebook Relationship Status as “In a Relationship With Thoughtsy.”
  2. Thou shall not ever give me unfrosted Pop-Tarts.
  3. Thou shall like chocolate. Or not like. I’m not sure. Is it better to have the chocolate all to myself or to have someone to share it with for weight management purposes?
  4. Thou shall not tell lies.
  5. Thou shall occasionally read my blog.
  6. Thou shall make me the rainbow pancakes once.
  7. Thou shall make me feel loved and wanted.
  8. Thou shall like cuddling.
  9. Thou shall not get mad when I touch your bare skin with my icy cold fingers.
  10. Thou shall carry me around occasionally.
So, yeah…I think that’s it. I’m pretty low maintenance. #4 and #7 should be givens, but even a couple of my “good guy” exboyfriends occasionally fudged those up.
 
#10 is especially important. I’m 5’7″. That means I’m the tall girl, so not many guys are tall enough to throw me over their shoulder or carry me around.
 
Carrying me around is important. Not because I’m lazy…Well, a little because I’m lazy. Mostly because I used to be heavier and now that I’m a carry-able weight, I like to be reminded that I’m light and fluffy. Maybe fluffy was the wrong word…. Look, it’s just important, ok?
 
It makes me feel light and skinny. And when I feel skinny, it’s a good day…for everyone within my 5-mile radius.
 
Am I missing any Commandments?
 
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “The fact that phone sex jobs don’t offer health insurance is exactly why we need health care reform in this country. Also, certain styles of panty make excellent eye patches.”—JM Randolph

34 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Boyfriend

January 22, 2013

This Is Not the Post You’re Looking For

By thoughtsappear

After visiting my little brother in LA, I’m flying to the East Coast, and approximately 14 hours later, I’m headed back to the West Coast for work.

Which means…my blog will suffer, but I’ve predrafted this search terms post for you to read.

You’re welcome.

The following search terms brought the boys to the yard people to my blog:

  • Cat Playing in Toilet. Yep. Got that.
  • My Butt in See-Through Panties. Ain’t got that.
  • How to Fluff Your Lovesac. Got that.
  • Pop-Tart Addicts. I can stop any time I want!
  • White Chocolate Pop-Tarts. WHERE?! I mean…that sounds racist.
  • End of World Butt. Uhhhh…no. You should probably go see a doctor.
  • What Is a Pennis? Probably the same thing as a Pianist.

Have a great week!

What’s the funniest search term that’s brought someone to your blog?

28 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Writing

November 13, 2012

Peanut Butter Is to Jelly as Hot Chocolate Is to Marshmallows

By thoughtsappear

The weather here pretty much went from blazing hot to chilly. That means it’s time to switch from ice cream to hot chocolate and cookies.

And because normal marshmallows and hot chocolate just aren’t enough for me, I got these:

That’s right. Those are gourmet marshmallows” chocolate and caramel. The caramel ones were super yummy and bordering on too sweet even for me. The white chocolate- and raspberry-flavored hot chocolates were good, too.

I’m happy to report that a new flavor Pop-Tart is in town to celebrate the chill: Hot Chocolate and Marshmallow Pop-Tarts.

Would it be wrong to dip the Pop-Tart in hot chocolate? Cause it sounds so right.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “So wait . . . you’re telling me that now Keifer allows BOTH animals on/in the bed? Well, it really was just a matter of time. He was outnumbered afterall.”—Misty’s Laws

31 comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in Food

November 5, 2012

A Chicken in Every Pot…A Pop-Tart in Every Toaster

By thoughtsappear

It’s nearly election day. You haven’t read anything political on this blog because I don’t really follow what’s going on.

Which is why you should vote for me, Thoughtsy Appear, in your write-in vote. Lorraine will be my running mate.

I promise you…

  • A chicken in every pot.
  • A car in every garage.
  • A Pop-Tart in every toaster.
  • Ice cream in every freezer.

And a Zombie Apocalypse Readiness Plan. I can’t believe this topic didn’t come up in the debates.

Also, people keep talking about a bacon shortage. What about a potential chocolate shortage? Why isn’t anyone worried about that?

In addition to a Zombie Apocalypse Readiness Plan, we’ll need a Chocolate-Shortage Readiness Plan as well. These will be my first orders of business.

Remember…a vote for me is a vote for chocolate.

18 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Other Random Stuff

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