Recently, I had visitors…Canadians…little ones…two of them.

These things will not bite you.

They want to have fun.

So without further ado, meet Thing 2 and Thing 1!

Have fun? Bah! Work first! I immediately put them to work helping me pack. Esme supervised.

Obviously, Esme’s parenting skills are similar to my own with The Jolie (Remember when I almost killed The Jolie…like 50 gazillion times?) because I found Thing 1 and Thing 2 in the wine glasses. (Shhhh…don’t tell Leanne.)

Thing 1 said it was Thing 2′s idea, and then Thing 2 said it was Thing 1′s idea.

 And that made me realize I may not be cut out to handle these two by myself. And that a cat (with or without a hat) is not a reliable babysitter.

So after the packing was complete, I rewarded them with a trip to the National Zoo in Washington, DC. My friend Princess came along to help keep an eye on them.

Because I don’t have any child car seats, we took the Metro. Safety first.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 posing in the "O"

I didn’t know if Thing 1 and Thing 2 could swim, and I’m not a lifeguard, so I let them pose with the fake otters instead of real ones.

The gorillas seemed calmer, but I didn’t let Thing 1 and Thing 2 get too close.

The meerkat Timon was particularly interested in Thing 1 and Thing 2. Scurry…Sniff…Flinch! (If you haven’t seen Lion King 1 and 1/2, that last joke will be lost on you. Sorry.)

Then I looked away for one second (a mere second I tell you!), and they were hopping into a carnivore’s mouth.

Never fear, Leanne! The zoo was a very educational experience for Thing 1 and Thing 2. They weren’t eaten by any animals, and they’re now on their way to their next host.