Want to join me on a safari? But I’m warning you right now, it’ll be dangerous.
Leopard: If you take me home, I’ll eat Esme Kitty for breakfast.
Deery Lou: Your sweater sleeve tastes soooooo good!
Peacock: Thoughtsy, I’m here to help you get over your fear of birds…and then I’m going to knock you unconscious with my massive tail feathers and peck your face off.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Cupcakes are being melted and dangled all over the place here, Thoughtsy! I just can’t handle the cupcake abuse!”-Daile
After a breakup, it can be really easy to jump into another relationship (i.e., the rebound). It’s also easy to get mixed up with the wrong type of person.
To calm your fears, I want to let you know that I still have my wits about me. I’m scrutinizing every guy I run into, so I don’t get into trouble.
Let’s look at this guy I met in LA.
For starters, he appears to live in a motel.
I need someone with house…someone with a stable living arrangement. Besides…this motel is right behind Whoville, and I would like at least a little bit of a yard.
I’m not too worried about the knife he’s carrying…what really concerns me is that I heard he still lives with his mother.
See? My thinking is 100% clear.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Only one of them is in the position to offer you a night of hot monkey love. You know what you have to do.”—Bluzdude
While I was in LA, I was single. Which meant I was on the prrrrrrrrrowl.
Ok, not really because I was with my mom. And my brother. And I was on the opposite side of the country.
But two “guys” did initiate some innocent flirting.
Notice the SpongeBob photobomb. Jerk…
Fievel was my favorite, but Curious George laid it on my pretty thick, so…we’ll see what develops. I’m not sure I’m into long-distance relationships, but at least I have options.
- Fievel Pros: He can sing and wears a cute hat.
- Fievel Con: He’s from Russia, so I’m not sure if he has a green card.
- Curious George Pros: He kissed my hand and danced with me. Obviously, he’s very romantic.
- Curious George Con: He doesn’t wear clothes.
Who should I date: Fievel or Curious George?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: ‘Whew! I thought ‘chocolate boyfriend’ was going to be code for something offered by the Trojan Co. Thanks for not going there.”—Peg-o-Leg
After years and years of searching for Tinkerbell, I finally found her…in LA. She has a vacation home there for when she needs a break from Neverland.
As soon as I saw her, instead of politely introducing myself, I reverted to my
29 4-year-old fairy-loving self, and I snatched her up between my hands.
What can I say? I panicked.
Then she bit me…which caused my cupped hands to open. And she flew away. I shouted an apology after her.
But on my hands, she left me some fairy dust, which I used to do this:
I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to jump out of a plane. I’d be that person whose hands have to be pried off the seat…and then again off the door of the plane…and probably again from the instructor’s neck.
But indoor skydiving…that was awesome!
The instructor said I was a natural: I had perfect posture, he said. Which is why he flung me 20 feet up in the air and spun me around in circles on my first flight.
When I came back down, I may have checked the crotch of my flight suit…it was dry. Phew!
#10 on my 35 Before 35 accomplished!
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Oh come on, Thoughtsy. Admit it…you’ve been walking around LA in see through panties. You can’t fool us! I’ve done posts on my weird ones. Might be time to revisit them. Thanks for the idea. Have fun on the West Sahhhdddd.”—Misty’s Laws
In just a few short days, I’ll be in LA. Which means in just a few short days, I’ll be famous. “Thoughtsy” will soon become a household name.
I’m just going to visit
Percy Q. Poodle my brother and his fiance, but I’m sure while I’m touring Universal Studios, I’ll get pulled from the tour to fill in on a bit part in a movie, and that’ll lead to larger roles and within a few months, you’ll see me starring opposite Channing Tatum and Johnny Depp.
With Percy and I back together, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Benji is remade, too.
Anyways, while I’m rubbing elbows with the rich and famous, what should I see in LA?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Somewhere there’s a poor dead hostage with a giant penis. So sad.”—The Cannibalistic Nerd