Tag Archives: Vampires Have Bushy Eyebrows

Recalling Total Recall

Yesterday in the DC Metro area, we were supposed to get a blizzard of 12-18 inches of snow. We ended up with 4-5 inches…this morning maybe 2 inches are left.

My work closed. Rather than blasting the weather men for being wrong again, I thanked them because, “Hey…no work and no shoveling. Woo-hoo!”

After completing my work-from-home, I watched Total Recall. Which ended up being more work. Only I didn’t get paid for it.

Maybe it’s because I’m not usually a fan of sci-fi. Maybe it’s because I was hoping for something similar to the Arnold Schwarzenegger version.

Maybe it’s because I saw Harold at the beginning and spent the rest of the movie looking for Kumar. (He never showed.)

Here’s what I learned:

  • Be careful of hugs from your wife. She may be trying to strangle you.
  • Sometimes the palm of your hand has a phone in it.
  • If you dream about being a secret agent, you were a secret agent before your memories were erased.
You're under arrest for wasting my snow day.

You’re under arrest for wasting my snow day.

Most importantly, I learned that not even Colin Farrell can hold my interest in a sci-fi movie.

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “I know it’s a sore subject, but that dress is a little short on you.”—Omawarisan


Breaking News: Robert Pattinson Moved Into My Office

You probably heard that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. You probably heard that Pattinson moved out of the house he was living in with Stewart.

But did you hear where he’s living now?

In my office.

Robert Pattinson’s disguise.

Or maybe it’s Batman incognito. Or Dracula. Or Bill Compton. The possibilities are endless.

Favorite Comment From the Last Post: “I used to be deathly afraid of aliens… like eyes-wide-open, staring at the ceiling and why are those damned shadows moving afraid. Luckily, now I’m married, and any aliens are going to have to get past my husband to get to me!!!! Oh… crap. It’s gonna be another sleepless night….”—Kim


Jerry the Vampire

I’ve been so focused on preparing for the zombie apocalypse, I’ll be in big trouble if other creatures (like vampires) attack.

As much as I’d like to turn into a beautiful vampire, the sight of blood really freaks me out.

So I watched Fright Night to prepare for a vampire attack. Here’s what I learned from the movie:

  • Guns don’t work unless you have all the pieces.
  • Boys will wrap Stretch Armstrong around their balls. Ewwww….
  • “Jerry” is a vampire name.

    You think just because my name is Jerry I can't drain you dry?

  • Almost everyone in Las Vegas is a vampire because they sleep during the day and come out at night.

The most shocking thing I learned from Fright Night is…

Brace yourself.

Twilight is not real.

I know. It surprised me, too.


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