Mostly, people are giving me double takes. But a few people have commented on them. What do you think I should say?
Just in case someone decided to play an April Fool’s joke on me, I wanted to be prepared, so I watched the movie April Fool’s Day. Creative movie title, huh? At least you know when it takes place.
Here are some of my thoughts during the movie:
Is that Biff? I didn’t think he was in anything except the Back to the Future movies.
In 1986, the “your fly is down” is the most popular joke. And everyone falls for it.
In 1986, ”Muffy” was an acceptable name for a child.
In 1986, the appearance of an evil twin named “Buffy” would not raise any questions.
This hairstyle should be as popular as Princess Leia’s.
The movie left me with one question.
If someone says you need the bigger bedroom because you need the room, is she calling you “fat” or a “whore?”
Favorite Comments From Last Post: “…Now the Cadbury crack I can talk about. I haven’t had one in 24 hours, and I am starting to get the shakes.”—Angelia Sims
“Cadbury Creme Crack Eggs…that is spot on. I’ve had a love affair with them since, oh, 1985? I keep waiting for the day when I’ll take a bite and say, “Ooh, it’s just too much…too rich…too sweet.” That day is never going to come. And for that reason, every Easter season, I gain 15 pounds of pure Cadbury Egg fat.—Single and Blogging It
Instead of being a superhero, I’m considering being a hunter…like Sam and Dean in Supernatural. Maybe I could be their sidekick. And then one of them—I don’t care which one (60% Dean, 40% Sam)—would fall for me, and we could raise our own little pie-eating demon hunters.
I know not to take candy from strangers, but I would totally get in this van.
Although I’m an excellent pie eater, I suspect it will take more to impress them, so I decided to brush up on my supernatural knowledge through some movies: ParaNorman and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
I didn’t learn much from ParaNorman. Since it’s a cartoon, I don’t know how reliable of a source it is.
You’d think after The Sixth Sense, when a kid says he sees dead people, more alive people would believe him.
Your snack will fall from the vending machine before the zombies get you.
With all the Twilight hype, I thought it was important to get another vampire perspective. Plus Honest Abe was President. That makes him a credible source.
Vampires don’t sparkle.
Vampires don’t like silver.
The South lost the Civil War because they were all vampires.
You can kill a vampire with your silver watch. But only if you say, “Time to die” while you stab him through the heart with the watch.
Ok, so I totally made up the “Time to die” part. You don’t have to say that, but you should.
Over the weekend, I tried to watch The Grey, but in the first 10 minutes a wolf gets shot, and I had to turn it off because wolves are my friends.
Then I tried to watch Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies. But it was too unbelievable. Teddy Roosevelt was in it, and he wasn’t even born until after the Civil War. The unbelievability had nothing to do with the zombies.
After that, I switched to My Cousin Vinny. I learned that “dead-on-balls accurate” is an industry term, and when talking about your biological clock, it makes more of an impact if you stomp your feet.
Finally, I decided to watch The Chernobyl Diaries. I was disappointed, but I did learn a few things about extreme tourism.
For example…Always look behind you.
Extreme Tourism means you will be…
Mauled by a radioactive bear.
Bitten by a radioactive fish.
Attacked by wild dogs.
Attacked by Russian mutant cannibals.
And then you’ll die. So when it comes to extreme tourism, just say, “No.”